Wednesday, November 3, 2010

is it me, or is it them?

I think one of the things, personally, that I do when it comes to my job is take things personally. Not on the kids side, rather, the things that they say are either funny, ridiculous or annoying (See side note: today in new MS class, I have regained some ground by, instead of high fiving a student, giving him a high elbow--again, what I love about MS is the pure willingness they have to do simple, silly things). This whole switch to MS thing, how can I not take this personally, as if the admin has not much else to do than throw teachers on one place on a whim just simply because they can.

This is hard to swallow, but, it's not me, it's them. It's going to take me a very long time to realize this...it's how the school operates: they make things shitty for teachers, because that's just how they think things should be run. They do it in the name of certain things (data, etc), and, perhaps they're right in some respects; but, I don't think I'll ever quite "win" because there's nothing to win. Maybe that's what I've been thinking about for such a long time. That there's a fight to win, that I can control what my job is. But it's not about that. It's about them being the boss, me being the employee.

It'll take some time, I suppose. Do I sound defeatist?

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