Tuesday, January 19, 2010

insomnia watch: 2010

Hey there, folks! Welcome to my blog...again. Sorry for being so dull. So here's the scoop: I'm doing better, and adjusting myself more into non-survival mode/depression mode, which means I'm trying to care more about my kids' education in the classroom. Serving their needs along with my own. Sounds like a good thing, I suppose, no? I'm not saying I've been selfish, I'm saying that along the way, I disengaged myself from what the kids were learning because I didn't want it like I would've wanted, say, The Odyssey. Regardless, things'll be getting better now, I think. I hope. Either way, I've still got this tiny little problem:

INSOMNIA 2010!!!

To the untrained eye, it might seem like a movie. To the trained eye, it'll seem like work--or the thought of it, perhaps--is steeling away into my subconscious, making me wake in the middle of the night. I will say, the periods of time when I wake are short (thus, not really insomnia), but my mind wakes completely for a sec, thinks I have to go to work, looks at the clock, then tries fitfully, and finally successfully, to go to sleep again. I've been trying to use guided meditation and warm glasses of milk. It's worked, for the most part, in that it gets me back to sleep. Last night was a little different, though.

I woke up at 5 this morning, turning absently and then groggily awake, to the sound of a bus. I started to dream (in the I'm-about-to-go-to-sleep dreamy way) that I was a waiter, and asking someone's personal opinion on something. Then the dream muddles into all sorts of other unidentifiable things. All in all, not a great rest from 5 til 6:30 am wake-up time.

What do I do? Has anyone had similar experiences? Any advice?

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