Reading the District

100th post, and what news!

2011-07-26T16:24:00.002-04:00

I've officially been fired by DCPS. I've been RIF'ed, IMPACTed, "excessed," and I am officially one of the 200+ fired this 2010-2011 school year. Well, at the very least, I have a job.

Speaking of which, here's the newest list of jobs: English I (9th grade) + Textual Analysis (read: Reading Workshop), and 10th grade Honor's English.

My biggest fear, I'm not very good at analyzing long novels. In fact, I realize that I never did a lot of long-novel analyses, and, in fact, all my college work in that realm was a lot of content, and not much skill. I mean, that's most of what college is, developing the skill of in-depth analysis instead of basic skills analysis.

I wonder, teachers: what's your biggest fear in teaching something new?

short stories

2011-07-21T16:05:00.001-04:00

Anyone know any good short stories that are good for 9th graders, but also are easily digestible for students that are struggling readers?

creating curriculum

2011-07-19T23:11:00.003-04:00

The easiest thing in the world is to take a curriculum that's done for you and ride it. I think that's how I felt the first year I started teaching. I never created. Last year, I tried, but felt pressure so hot and pressed against my face that I just did what I could with what was given to me, and did what I thought was best: teach it, but teach it slower. Now, I have a whole new challenge up against me: choice.

My students are supposed to read Animal Farm, Fahrenheit 451, Romeo & Juliet, a poetry unit, and an expository (non-fiction) unit. There are clear goals for each of the units, products laid out, and everything seems rather organized. It's the curriculum my lovely 9th grade partner-in-crime, er teaching, has sent me. She said to me, "Do it as you see fit." Thus, my problem: choice.

The thing I see, or rather, that I don't see, is a cohesion that unifies each, um, unit: a theme. Expeditionary Learning's taught me that a curriculum should be the investigation of a question, and one of my favorite things to look at is the question of power. I just don't know the question just yet. What I learned from this inquiry-based professional development thing that I did over the past two weeks, is that children (adolescents) have an innate curiosity about them (this is the supposed belief...I can dig it), and that they, themselves, can ask those kinds of questions. I just have to be mindful of what that question leads to.

A thought, though, and I think this might be it: What is power? What does it mean to have power? Usually, my thought process goes to things like superheroes, dictators, self-empowerment, and words. One of the goals that seems to be pervasive in this curriculum outline is the subject of power: censorship; propaganda; totalitarianism; the power of an author's choices and how that affects tone, theme, plot, and characters; the power of words and grammar in a student's writing; the tragic power of fate vs. the conflict of self-determination and fate (R&J). The list goes on.

Does this work? I'm going to have to think a little more about this, and figure out how to wrap these around, and also how to coax questions about power out of my new 9th graders.

aaaand, i have a new job

2011-06-27T21:17:00.002-04:00

Yup. That's right, folks. I'll no longer be employed by DCPS. Instead, I'm entering into the private realm. We'll see how this goes, but I'm excited for the change in scenery. I'll still be teaching remedial, but this time within the context of a normal English class.

Details later once I find out.

the news so far

2011-06-26T22:38:00.002-04:00

So, as it is, I can't be fired from DCPS yet because there's some clause in the contract, according to my union rep, that my first year doesn't count. And I haven't been given a "you're fired" letter from my school, so that's that. Meantime, I'm having a chat with a principal tomorrow at a different school (gulp) to discuss the job. We'll see what happens.

i've been impacted

2011-06-15T22:05:00.002-04:00

Joking aside, I'm probably going to be excessed this summer. I just had my post-conference with my admin, and I got a 1.9, which means that, in total, just counting observations, I have a 2.3. CSC (which is a fucking impossibility in my school) looks like all 1's, and TAS looks like all 1's, also. Wonderful.

Here's to you, DCPS. But more importantly, here's to you, dick administrator. So what's next for me? Charter? Private? Stay tuned!

My Galley, charged with Forgetfulness (Sir Thomas Wyatt)

2011-06-01T22:20:00.002-04:00

My galley, charged with forgetfulness,

Thorough sharp seas in winter nights doth pass

'Tween rock and rock; and eke mine en'my, alas,

That is my lord, steereth with cruelness;

And every owre a thought in readiness,

As though that death were light in such a case.

An endless wind doth tear the sail apace

Of forced sighs and trusty fearfulness.

A rain of tears, a cloud of dark disdain,

Hath done the weared cords great hinderance;

Wreathed with error and eke with ignorance.

The star be hid that led me to this pain;

Drowned is Reason that should me comfort,

And I remain despairing of the port.

I was observed by my administrator on our canceled field day: a day that I never expected to have to scrounge up a lesson, because I don't teach first period, which was supposed to be our only period of the day.

I believe, according to IMPACT, if you get, one year, a bad evaluation, you have an "improvement plan," and another year to recuperate. If, however, you have two years in a row, then you're out of DCPS. IMPACT scholars, is this true? If that's the case, most likely, I'm cooked, I'm pretty sure of it.

I'll talk with my administrator, see if I can get a hint at whether he saw improvement, which means whether or not I fucked myself over too hard. Either way, I'm a nervous wreck. Not a good feeling on my last few weeks of school, huh? Field day tomorrow, but a normal day with other students. More news on the next few days with period four: we're reading for fun, how interesting is that??

PS: updates on the job stuff

2011-05-16T22:05:00.002-04:00

If you're into transferring, this might be your gig on the 25th:

Summary: To follow up on the transfer fair for WTU employees held last week, we will be holding an event for all non-WTU employees interested in transferring schools for the SY11-12 school year at Walker-Jones Educational Campus from 4-7 PM on May 25. Please check the Human Resources page for a list of available vacancies.

Applicable Educators: All educators
Date: May 25, 2011
Time: 4:00 PM - 7:00 PM
Location: Walker-Jones EC, 1125 New Jersey Ave. NW
Contact: DCPSStaffing@dc.gov

ALSO:

May 23rd, at Luke Moore Academy (1001 Monroe St, NE), there's a meeting to hash it out about IMPACT as it pertains to teacher support. If you're like me, you'll be there with bells on. The event starts at 4:30 and ends at 6:00 pm.

value added

2011-05-16T21:49:00.003-04:00

What gets me really miffed about the idea of value added is that I just don't understand the math. That, and the fact that it's all test-score and benchmark related, and therefore only promotes a certain type of teaching within the classroom.

If a classroom is only an assessment-related classroom, the focus becomes only the measurement of skill. That's the only thing that is measurable, because it can be identified clearly within students abilities. For instance, as a reading teacher, I can figure out how well my students do in the following skills: main idea, compare and contrast, drawing conclusions, etc, etc. These are identifiable and measurable through a test. And, in fact, it's good to measure them: we're able to see how well a student can comprehend and, indeed, chew, savor and swallow a text that way. All these things are gateway drugs: we gather ourselves into reading through comprehending, which makes us enjoy things like beauty and language. But when we only measure those skills, then we falter where things really count: the synthesis of skills, namely writing, and projects, which usually takes the content we learn and wonder about and synthesizes it with a skill such as drawing conclusions based on information gathered, making inferences about character motivations, etc.

I also wonder how intensely the replacement of DCPS standards with Common Core Standards are going to affect how we measure skills, and how we teach. I like the holistic (err...whole-istic?) approach, but is DCPS doomed to be a testing culture because of value added? In the next five years, it looks like. Ugh.

return of the CAS!

2011-04-05T22:31:00.002-04:00

So, as most of us in public ed. & charter schools know in DC, the CAS is upon us. Today was quite the shit show, as usual: 4 1/2 hour period for non-testers, a substitute (in my classroom) who sat there reading the newspaper and didn't even hand out the work I had clearly on the table label "Sub Folder." Oy. Sometimes (and I hope I'm not offending any substitutes here), subs are just so uninterested in doing anything--they just want to make their money and go. Are they so jaded, or just ridiculous? Pardon, pardon to those subs who are really great and deserving of real teaching jobs: there are a couple of subs at my school who're regulars, and who are wonderful teachers. Sucks that a few bad apples ruins the whole bunch.

Anyways, while I was returning the CAS items today, my friends and I were like, well, the return of the CAS...which reminded me of an amazing song, and which will now be the anthem of this next week of ridiculous testing. Please enjoy, "Return of the Mack," and substitute Mack with CAS...all the time.

DENIED!

2011-03-30T22:23:00.003-04:00

Fucking denied, man. I took an entire day off of school to go to OSSE to drop off my licensure packet that I slaved over for an entire year, and I just got a letter saying I was denied!!! All for one stupid thing: I didn't score high enough on my Praxis II Pedogogy test. Ugh!

Now, I have to take the test again, fork over another 50 bucks for a processing fee, wait another five weeks for the scores again, get another transcript from my college and graduate school, get another letter of clearance from my graduate school and another freaking background check letter, and submit it again!!!!!!

This is the most annoying thing ever. I'm so disappointed, OSSE. What the fuck, man. Jeez.

a quick word about obama

2011-03-28T20:11:00.004-04:00

I don't know if anyone caught Univision today (everyone was talking about it at school), but Obama said something to the tune of how we over-test our students.

"Too often what we have been doing is using these tests to punish students or to, in some cases, punish schools," were his exact words.

He said it's boring to have schools teach to tests, and it won't make the student learn in the least. I'm all for that. But what are we going to do about it? That's the next question.

one small step for man, one giant leap for RTD

2011-03-28T19:34:00.002-04:00

So, Reading the District is finally getting himself organized. Better late than never, I suppose! I've bought my MS students binders, and am going to instruct them on how to organize them. The reason that this is so late coming is several-fold:

a) I'm not a very organized person

b) I was placed in this class midyear, without much of an organizational system intact already

c) I'm not a very organized person

Binders haven't been my thing, mostly because I think I just never thought of them. We're supposed to keep some form of a portfolio, so I thought that I was covered. Falsity. Binders are the shit, and will help you and your students immensely IF you keep them organized and make sure they are counted every week.

Here's my management system for this, so far. Let me know if I need to work some kinks out:

1. Divide into sections: reading logs, homework, projects

2. Have a checklist or table of contents (?) for all projects and homeworks

3. Check this every week for completion

What say you? Organized finally?

In other news, I'm looking for jobs at public, charter and private schools. Let's see what happens!

trying to respond to students

2011-02-17T20:50:00.002-05:00

I don't know how successful this will be, or if this is a good idea at all, but I have a couple of students who might be a bit despondent these days about their reading levels, and probably quite frustrated by the fact that they're still in Read 180.

I also have two of my favorite students completely down in the dumps lately: unresponsive, very cold, not trying (one of 'em, at least). Basically, not their usual selves. This kills me, because they were the lights of my career as a second-year teacher. They made my class lively, entertaining and wonderful.

So, since most of my students fill out once in a while (when I want to get a "pulse of the classroom" as they say in the fucking jargon) this fill in the blanks free-write, and since a lot of them say the same stuff, I feel like it's time to respond to them. I'm going to use the same format, but just make it a response, allay fears, hopefully build confidence, hopefully show them that I know they're growing and doing better each time.

Is this an ok thing to do? I think so. I'll just trust my judgement, and see where it goes.

the process of covering one's butt

2011-02-15T22:12:00.002-05:00

One of the things that is very difficult for me to swallow is having to cover yourself. I didn't understand this concept at all in grad school, and didn't exactly follow it to the T last year. This year, however, stakes have raised, and, in order for me to function well--both under IMPACT and under the administration here--is to cover myself:

1. Always make sure you "hit" a certain amount of higher order thinking questions (HOTS, what a silly acronym)

2. Create spreadsheets that cross-reference DCBAS, Lexile levels, ELL levels and SpEd status and accomodations--for any other reason than just simply having it handy.

3. Keep a list of evidence that you have called 100% of parents, recording each time you call and whether it was answered, and what actions will take place.

The thing that makes me the most frustrated is that all of these are probably, in all likelihood, useful! But the mere fact that it is "required" of me to "hit" high order thinking questions, instead of "encourage" me to make my students go farther by asking them deeper questions, seems to me to be fake. Maybe it's the rebellious-side of me, but all this constant "hitting" things, or covering or do-it-because-they-tell-me really makes me less interested in the educational theory our school wants to shove toward us. It makes me also just not want to do it.

So, here's my question to the masses: how do I make it so that I can convince myself that, it's ok to do things with silly acronyms, or collect data sets, or record how many times I've called a parent? In a way, how do I make myself care?

a triple-header tonight--procrastination at its finest

2011-02-10T23:07:00.004-05:00

Check out this little quote: the 8-year-old son of Teach for America founder, Kopp, interviewed her for a project at school:

She quotes her son Benjamin, then 8, after he had interviewed her about her life's work for a school project. His final question was: "If this is such a big problem -- you know, kids not having the chance to have a good education -- why would you ask people with no experience right out of college to solve it?"

Interesting, no? I ask this same question many times. I think TFA has lots of good points, but many, many bad. I'm not a fan of those who think it's a vacation between college and law school (no offense to those who have done so). Teaching should be a decision, a career choice, and TFA should encourage that career choice through preparation and encouragement to stay in the ranks. Says I.

eating well vs. having time to grade & do work

2011-02-10T21:13:00.001-05:00

I love to cook, don't get me wrong. But damn if it doesn't take a long time! I just finished and it's 9:14 pm. So, do I enter my homework grades in now? Those always make me lazy. Ay, what to do.

a teacher's complaint

2011-02-10T20:59:00.002-05:00

How to Ruin Your Classroom Dynamic In One Two Easy Steps:

1. Reschedule two of the loudest loud-mouthed kids from their original period to the quietest, most productive period.

2. Rinse and repeat.

My classroom's been overrun by ridiculousness, and I'm not sure how to stop it. Two students, one who is "bored" because she's "not aloud to do anything" and so loves to talk and talk in the class. She's a rebellious type who's having trouble at home, and can dish out the snide-remarked disses, but can't take 'em herself. The other is an attention-seeker who seeks haven in the rapid-fire comments he makes to each and every single one of his classmates, only to get a laugh or disrupt the flow of the classroom. Thus, the class, who were once leaders, has thudded into the grasp of loudness, disruption, and/or general malaise (in some students). One of my favorite students (honestly, I can't say that I don't have favorites--I love all (read: most) of my students, but this one girl is just a treat to have in class: excited, ready to learn, a leader, if only she'd stop doubting her capability) has lost that smile she always has when she sees me. She hates coming to the class. She lays her head down. She lays her head down.

Now, I don't know what to do. Whether to accept it or make calls home expressing concern about behavior and the animosity that's built between those who were switched into the fourth period, and those who were there to begin with.

This is killing me.

so many things to say, such procrastination

2011-01-23T16:47:00.002-05:00

It's my own fault that I'm not posting. It's procrastination. Like most things that require long periods of time to think about and etc., I've put it off and off and off until now, when I'm procrastinating my real school work, and posting on this blog. So here I am.

It's a wonder that practically no other teacher blogs that I have linked are posting--although it's not even a wonder: there seems to be a general malaise, or at least a negative space and attitude on the posts that've been going around since last my favorite teacher blogs posted. I don't know if people have time, or if they feel the energy to post as much as before. I know I haven't as much, though I've wanted to.

A wonderful moment: one of my students is participating (and will win) the Poetry Out Loud competition on the 27th. I will be there with bells on. I can't wait to hear her--it'll be absolutely spectacular. She'll be reading "Those Winter Sundays," by Robert Hayden.

A sobering moment: one of my students, a natural jerk, in want of an audience, who wants to feel important and a leader, who is a 9th grader and had a stern talking to by the vice-principal of 9th graders, and the guidance counselor (they think he's in a gang; he's not). He's failed three of his classes, including mine, and has passed English with a B. Stubborn and stubborn, he came in somber and sober after the conversation. At the end of the day, we spoke, and he said I'd be seeing a new him come Monday, and he seemed pretty serious about it. He'll be in my 4th period this semester, which will be a very big change of scenery and environment, which will be very good for him.

This semester will be good in terms of students; same old shit, tho with the school. We'll see how things develop.

back to the grindhouse

2010-11-28T21:14:00.003-05:00

Tomorrow's school again, and I'm wondering whether or not I'm dreading anything. Not particularly. I think the biggest thing is that I have to create some semblance of a final exam based solely on what the DC CAS looks like/is. Basically, I am taking a DC CAS specifically tailored to main idea, details, sequencing, and literary elements, and making that the test. I hate the CAS, think it's boring an not useful. But most of all, I hate having to make my reading class, which is FULL of ELL students that shouldn't really be there in the first place, some form of differentiated instruction of CAS questions. What a buncha bull.

So, my question: do I do what my supervisor wants me to do? Make a bunch of these stupid differentiated questions, or just go about my business with what's already done? I suppose I'm going to have to, because I'm the "lead teacher" of Read 180. So many people in my school try and for the most part succeed in getting away with not submitting things to admin, not doing things that admin asks them to do. I'm trying not to do that so that I can not be a silly teenage rebellion type, and assume my responsibilities. But the temptation is so great, and it seems that so many people get away with it.

Either way, back to DC CAS support class, I mean, Read 180.

getting angry

2010-11-11T00:07:00.003-05:00

See, I have a friend--a good friend--one who's been with me since last year--one who's candid and open and unendingly opinionated--one who makes mistakes like the best of us and will own up to them--one who believes that the only way to make things happen, to really make things change, is to get angry. And he's angry at the school. So, he tries to encourage his students to make change by making them angry enough that they want it. Or, at least the smart kids, he says. He says that what he's trying to do is get the kids to break out of the lie that they've been fed by the administrative body. He does this, and he also puts his race out there by playing the role of "white oppressor." He does it in order to get the kids angry, not necessarily at him, but at certain injustices that "he" is the cause of. His goal is anger. And he achieves it.

I've had a lot of conversation about this lately, and I've come to some conclusions about it. See, whenever he tells me about this stuff--and he confronted me about this, saying that I tend to question his motives a lot, looking at him strangely and not saying anything--it makes me unendingly uncomfortable. And, through conversations with friends, I've realized why:

Most of this discomfort with his style is that I feel that he is playing a part, and tends to manipulate his students into believing in his agenda, however socially just it may be. In a way, another friend said to me, it is "inception." But, the most important thing here is that he is trying to get students angry in order to recognize injustice in the world. His is not a problem of action, rather, or recognition. My thing is not necessarily recognition, rather, action. I want students to have recognized and researched and become passionate about a problem in society, and then change it. I'm about empowerment and action, he's about empowerment in recognition. He is the yang to my yin.

So what does this mean in terms of my own teaching? I want kids to recognize things, but it's never on my official agenda because that's not what I'm teaching, and I don't always have the opportunities to do it. I can't quite put my race out there because there's not much to be provocative about in Read 180, unfortunately. All content is a means to an end goal: being able to read well. I guess I need to find some sort of yang to complete my yin in my community service club...what does it take to recognize a problem in the world?

is it me, or is it them?

2010-11-03T23:15:00.002-04:00

I think one of the things, personally, that I do when it comes to my job is take things personally. Not on the kids side, rather, the things that they say are either funny, ridiculous or annoying (See side note: today in new MS class, I have regained some ground by, instead of high fiving a student, giving him a high elbow--again, what I love about MS is the pure willingness they have to do simple, silly things). This whole switch to MS thing, how can I not take this personally, as if the admin has not much else to do than throw teachers on one place on a whim just simply because they can.

This is hard to swallow, but, it's not me, it's them. It's going to take me a very long time to realize this...it's how the school operates: they make things shitty for teachers, because that's just how they think things should be run. They do it in the name of certain things (data, etc), and, perhaps they're right in some respects; but, I don't think I'll ever quite "win" because there's nothing to win. Maybe that's what I've been thinking about for such a long time. That there's a fight to win, that I can control what my job is. But it's not about that. It's about them being the boss, me being the employee.

It'll take some time, I suppose. Do I sound defeatist?

well, here we go again

2010-11-02T23:15:00.003-04:00

So, to compound the non-sense that happens in my school, I've been taken out of AP, and put into a MS class again, this time with the added bonus of not being the middle schooler's original teacher.

The full story (before I gotta go to bed): I was pulled out of AP so that the school could create another class of 10th grade Read 180. I was quite fine with that, seeing that having Read 180 be the number one class I have to do means that I would have a) a life outside of school and b) MUCH less work. Wunderbar. So what happened in the interim? I honestly can't tell you--I was told that I was going to be a sub for the MS R180 teacher, since he's sick. I was OK with that, since I thought the 10th grade class would take a bit of time to set up, and it was just a quick one-shot subbing thing. Turns out this is (most likely) going to become my permanent placement for first period. What's even crazier about this situation is that there is a substitute present in the classroom while I am in the classroom. So, the question begs to be asked: why am I actually in there?

According to the powers that be, they need someone who "knows the program inside and out" in the room and doing the Read 180 stuff, etc. Personally, the hell with it...if they have a sub, they have a sub. So, I tried to collaborate; tried to have a meeting about this, but there's no real talking to the administration once their minds have been arbitrarily made up.

So, my observation is tomorrow, and all I pray is that it is not in the middle school class that I cannot control because I just stepped in two days ago. This is the one thing I pray for, either third or fourth period.

this....really is how our meetings go

2010-10-23T20:33:00.002-04:00

I remember an innocent time, a time when collaborative planning meant you take one or two days out of your week during prep (because it was possible, since copies could be made the day of, in the morning), and you spoke to your colleagues about students that were having trouble (because you had them all (though this was middle school) and you brainstormed together how to get things done; that you didn't need to have an administrator around with you as your team planned; that you could ask the science teacher to work with you on some writing assignments and help support the theme you were exploring; when it wasn't about challenges and support and process, it was about a warm, if not sometimes frustrated, feeling towards each other, knowing that stuff would get done.

Going to the AP training a couple Fridays ago (I'm teaching AP English as well as Read 180) was a revelation, and broke me out of the rut of process. I suddenly remembered what studying was like in college, and was over-joyed to talk with my teachers from our school, as well as some other teachers, about the AP test and follow the instructor's directions toward examining the questions and figuring out how to answer and understand them. It was refreshing. This, however, is not. It makes me sad to be faced with this reality, but the question here is not, "Well, I'm trapped, so I might as well eat dirt, cause that's what they're feeding me" rather, "OK, I know the system...how the hell do I get the support I need from an administration that will only criticize? How do I work the system?"

Either way, shit's really annoying...take a peek:

so, i understand...

2010-10-12T21:47:00.002-04:00

that I haven't posted in, what, a month, possibly two. I also understand that much's been left out here. Needless to say, the wonderful feeling I had a while back has subsided, and I'm dealing with some organizational crises here. So this is a shout-out to all my teacher peeps out there: I'm looking for a system. How do you all keep your stuff together? Do you have things in drawers, in files, in folders, strewn about on your desk? How do you all keep it together? I'm strapped for ideas, and I'm struggling to pull it all together.

Plus, this TAS business is going to drive me up the wall. Have you all been up to date on this business? For those who don't know, TAS means Teacher Assessment Something-or-Other. Basically, the school AND each department comes up with certain goals with which their success will be measured. Now, this seems like a fine and great idea, but in some cases, the percentages work out such that, if you were to hit only one percent below your goal, you will get a 1 on your rating. Strictly speaking, that is an unfair technicality. I mean, to say the least. Whatever. It's harder on the English (myself) and the Math (not myself) teachers, because A LOT of their success is riding on DC CAS and other factors like PSATS, interim tests, and other such stuff. Their stake is much, much, much higher.

To make it even more complicated, the SCHOOL's TAS goals are even more ridiculous, and they are linked to the "commitment to school community" section of the IMPACT score. Because they design those goals, they're practically unattainable, and therefore restrict most of the teachers in the school from ever receiving a four. It makes my blood boil, but I like to keep my head down low. So, needless to say things're reaaaally not getting better this year. Or, at least, are posing different, if no less difficult, challenges.

Speaking of challenges and IMPACT, Michelle Rhee just resigned!! HOLY SHIT. More on that as news breaks and things go ASPLODE!!! inside this whole DCPS system. Everybody ready? aaaaaand, ASPLODE!

the new year cometh, i mean the Jewish one

2010-08-29T12:46:00.003-04:00

Fastly approaching is the Jewish New Year and Day of Return (atonement, as I learned at a workshop, is more of a Christian idea (no offense Christians, but it is) (maybe it's not return, but something like that). Anyhow, this means that there's gotta be some sort of reflection and such.

So, in general: the year before me: not terrible, but DAMN it was difficult, stressful and terrible at times. Rewarding at others, but damn. This year, so far, I've had good experiences, and now that I'm teaching an AP English comp class (did I mention this? As of last Sat...yikes!), I've been much happier. I know what to expect. So, I'm hoping for a continuation of this, and hoping that my Read 180 classes will enjoy more success than last year. We've got some real shit with this new IMPACT system and the fulfillment of goals and all that business, which is ridic and unfair and makes me feel a tad nervous. Apparently Rhee has said, "Go hard, or go home." Whatever.

In general, I'm hoping for a year of more rest, more productivity, and most of all more balance. This'll work itself out somehow. Ohhmmmmmmmm........

Baby got back?

2010-08-21T12:02:00.002-04:00

School starts tomorrow, and I'm not ready yet. This year I've had to set up two rooms, since I'm still split between two grades. What's a little more ridiculous is that the other room isn't shared--I'm alone--for one period. So, it's a Read 180 room! I've got my books, new rFlex books; now I just need to figure out what my classroom shape is going to be and all that business.

By the way, I don't remember if I'd mentioned this, but I had interviewed at a few schools, all of which sent me the "sorry, but..." letter. It's really unfortunate, but I feel like I'll be starting on a new footleafhorsewhateverthemetaphoris at my old school.

Today's project: buying notebooks, pens & pencils, and whatever else may seem fit for a Read 180 room; more planning for the first week & copying the actual syllabus (gulp); rearranging my room.

Another yearrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

DC-CAS results

2010-07-13T17:08:00.003-04:00

Here's a DCist post about the 2010 DCCAS test results. So, secondary school's up a tad, and elementary's down in both reading and math by 4.something%.

What does this say about Rhee's own style of pushing pushing pushing the test? Perhaps it doesn't work quite as well as she thought? Mmmmm???

the writer's workshop

2010-07-08T16:06:00.002-04:00

So. I've been called upon by a certain school to have an interview tomorrow, and I'm strapped into the seat at the restaurant I'm at (cafe, yellowgreen&orange walls, free wi-fi), and am trying to figure out a 20 minute grammar lesson. In the meantime, my mind's racing because I'm reading two books that I love (book 1), and am interested in (book 2): The Power of Grammar (book 1), and Mechanically Inclined (book 2). Both are extremely interesting and lovable (I'm such a nerd), and are filling in the gaps where one seems to falter.

The Writer's Workshop seems to be taken for granted as something that happens during the year in units, but shouldn't students be writing all the time? Or, am I to think that comprehension & ideas are more important in daily/homework writing, and not so much the skill of writing? Perhaps. I suppose it depends upon the English teacher, but I'm trying to think--how does it usually go? In Read 180, we have readings, then we have writing. In English, that's how it worked also, no? No?

whoa

2010-07-07T23:55:00.001-04:00

I have an interview at another school. Whoa.

summer reading list

2010-07-05T23:37:00.006-04:00

1. Ender's Game (780 Lexile)

2. The History of Love (Nicole Krauss) (dunno the Lexile...guesses?)

3. What is the What (Dave Eggers)

4. The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing (M. T. Anderson) (1090 Lexile)

5. Walk Two Moons (Sharon Creech) (770 Lexile)

6. Love That Dog (Sharon Creech) (1010 Lexile)

7. When You Reach Me (Rebecca Stead) (750 Lexile)

8. Holes (~600)

9. Letters from Rifka (~600)

any suggestions? YA fiction? Adult fiction? Poetry?

not abandoned

2010-07-05T23:20:00.002-04:00

It seemed like I had all but abandoned this blog. I didn't mean for it to go that way, but it did. The idea of posting as a commitment sort of got really behind the back-burner, and finally the flame sort of went out. But. That doesn't mean I can't recommit, no?

So. What shall I start with? I'll start with the end. It's interesting, now that school's been out for, what, two weeks, that everything ended in a weird, rushed, but pretty calm way. I had one fight in my class, around the end of May, maybe the middle of May. It was intense, and I don't think I handled it the best because I should've seen it coming--there were some signs that I saw, but chose (unconsciously or not) to let slide. I hope this doesn't make me a bad teacher; if not, then I've most definitely learned to look for the signs. When everything calmed down, both of 'em had two weeks suspension.

No one, except for one kid in my high school class and four kids in my middle school class, got F's. Everyone made up their work (although, let's be honest--some of 'em handed things in at the END OF THE ADVISORY...not cool). My lowest grade was a D. I will miss my students, but I know that I'll be seeing most of them next year (yeah, I think I'll be at my school next year--why? That seems to be the breaks--no one's called me back about the schools I interviewed with at the transfer fairs; so, I'm pretty resigned to the fact that I'll be back at my school, but with the added twist and pleasure of having previous students). I think the kids'll see more challenges, more expectation of excellence, and more of a culture of respect within the room. I'm going to research a bit and make some suggestions for the curriculum, and hopefully do some more in-depth shit. I'm hoping to be a more interesting Read 180 teacher next year, and maybe I'll do some good research on on sorts of leveled books, make some inquiries at the library, and have more of an emphasis on the reading stuff.

In the meantime, I'm on summer break, which means reading for pleasure and reading for a purpose. I've got two great grammar books: "The Power of Grammar" and "Mechanically Inclined." Plus, that teacher's guide, "Teach Like a Champion" (lamest title ever, but apparently a great help). I'll also try to read some young adult fiction (if I can get my hands on any). Any suggestions?

Well, here's to summer break! I'll be posting every once and again...by the way, everyone hear about Rhee and how she plans on leaving if Gray's elected? WTF, man: way to give up on a system you've tried to build up and up and let fall. Whoever the person is (if Gray's elected...man, what a hard choice), he can't be weak in the knees, that's for one thing. He's gotta be a data-monger AND a teacher-lover, I suppose. Oy.

addendum to previous post

2010-05-24T22:07:00.002-04:00

I don't hate Texas, I hate the school board that decided that capitalism should be called "the free-market enterprise," and "imperialism" something even more absurd.

I also am pretty opposed to a school board of education deciding that it is ok to say that the US was founded by Christian men and Christian principals. I don't think "All men are created equal" is written in Matthew or Paul.

Anywho, I do not hate Texas, apologies to my Texan readers, ahem. Just the above-mentioned.

I HATE TEXAS

2010-05-22T21:24:00.002-04:00

This makes me terribly sad, angry and even more angry at the state of conservatism in education. It's so apparent that our lives are dictated by old white men, and it makes me furious to know that most textbooks of public schools buy their stuff from Texas, because it's the biggest market.

It is even more apparent that in the United States, we need to have teachers that are willing to teach a revisionist history of the US and the world, and not those things that come from textbooks. And, that, in fact, revisionist histories of the US should be made into textbook formats instead of those expensive books that are released in small presses and only sold at places like "Teaching for Change" (based at Busboys & Poets--a lovely institution).

Man...what will happen next?

question of the morning...

2010-05-13T07:08:00.002-04:00

Just a slight rumination from a reading teacher:

Why do a lot of my students--and I remember this from last year, as well--have a tougher time reading & understanding a book when they read by themselves, and yet have a much better time when they read aloud? Is it learning style, or is it compensation?

I'd be interested in finding out! Research for the summer, or do any of my blog readers have some tips.

By the way, I'm still here....just wicked busy. Had an interview at a charter school, and it went super well! I'm hoping upon hopes!

why i will never be black

2010-04-08T22:29:00.003-04:00

A long while ago, when I first started this blog, I had this huge piece of sadness that occurred to me one day when a paraprofessional back in MA started talking to the kids in street, to help the kids along in a concept. It may not necessarily make me sad in the way of, "oh, that's depressing, he's talking street," it was more of a "wow, I will never know how to do that, nor will I ever be able to relate to my students in that way."

Race is powerful, and it's even more powerful when you look at yourself and you realize that there's something you just won't ever be or get, because you're not black/Latino/Asian/American Indian, whichever. It makes me sad that I can't ever connect to my African American kids like the other African American teachers can...I don't have the language, the attitude, or the understanding.

Today, the guidance counselor helped dispel a kid's anger about getting rid of his carrots (which I knew he was going to eat in class and/or throw) by just taking him by the arm, guiding him along the hall and covering his face. She moved in this ridiculously fluid motion, saying, "Nah, nah," making him laugh. She moved toward him, puffing her chest out like she was going to hit him--a fake, if you know what I'm talking about--which was more than obviously a joke. He calmed down instantly. I would never have handled that that well, at least not now, and it made me extremely sad. I don't know if I'm describing this so well, but there was this air of it that really said to me, "You won't be able to do this; you can't relate like that; you're not black."

the battle with sleep continues

2010-04-04T05:38:00.003-04:00

As vacation ends, another day begins, and another sleepless night. Man, I couldn't fall asleep again, and it's driving me insane. Why is sleep so erratic in my life? My guess is the anticipation and anxiety of starting another (the last) quarter at school. I'm dreading it, which is terrible, but I've built it up as such a terrible place that I don't think I can make it otherwise. Because, honestly, I'm just not that into it anymore. That's sort of a bad thing to say, but I just feel it.

Anyhow, I'm applying to new schools--got some cover letters and resume done. I applied to two charters, and am looking into other public schools. We'll see how that goes. Let's hope that gets me better sleep!

just when you think you don't like a person...you start to talk about poetry

2010-03-11T21:14:00.002-05:00

I love poetry. Love love love love it. It's my life, afterall--I write it, I read it, I advocate for it. My administrator and I share that love, apparently...it's crazy to think that such a hard-headed, autocratic, and pretty insulting guy can be such a lover of poetry. And make me impressed and want to befriend him (in the way that only an administrator and teacher can befriend each other--by talking about cool things besides school and not in the let's get some drinks kind of way).

So, judgments are what they are...and I think I'm pretty right to say that he can be a jerk--he's the causal of many a frustration on my team and also his dept...but, at the same time, man, he's got some poetry history! Was in this famous African American poet MFA called Kave Kanem (sp?), and was taught by Yusuf Komunyaaka and Marylin Nelson...damn!

Well, anyhow...I'm still stressed to the nines, though a tad less so. I went pretty militant on my students the other day (my fourth period), and kept them there after the bell rang for three whole minutes of silence while they practiced their rotations from station to station. It was murder for them, and myself, but it certainly worked. Also, that day that I was feeling terrible, my lovely colleague came to watch me and helped me re-structure my room, so now I have a clear small group area that avoids all the chatter and ridiculousness that led to my downfall (of sorts). Now, my small group runs relatively smoothly, and I think we've been doing pretty well for ourselves on getting the reading done. Almost done with it, anyhow.

from a letter to myself

2010-03-07T23:34:00.002-05:00

I really want to make sure my mainstream kids are doing good things with keeping track of their books--they're going to feel really dorky about it, but it's really going to help them. I hope. They say they don't understand the book, so i really want to help them with that. It just SUCKS that i can't have the time to actually make this class a real reading class--to help them focus on the real strategies that will get them to understand main idea and details, etc. But that's a completely different battle.

Either way, i'd like S., M. and V. to write me a bit on why they think the book they're reading is not understandable...and I think I might have to read it with them so that i can understand it myself.

I think, also, on the high school side, things need to heat up with my fourth period. Perhaps our admin coming in and observing will really be an asset. However, I think he's going to have to know a little bit about how this program runs before he comes in. Maybe. I dunno, we'll see--I hope he pulls through with it. And, I think Ms. C. is supposed to come in tomorrow to watch for T (a recent skipper, tough to keep him in the classroom). I hope he's is actually there.

Lots of things to think about, and all of this is just a sliver of the shit that I have put myself under. I hope that next year, I have a place where objective calendars are either not a big deal or are something I can do practically in my sleep. I hope next year I have the creative ability that i've been pretty much longing for since i got into this business. I hope these next couple of months keep me busy and interested and wanting to succeed and have my students succeed. These new students have needs that I just haven't gotten to know yet, and i'm wondering how best to serve them. This is the trick that seems to be worrying me the most, getting me nervous again (i can feel it in my heart, it's beating pretty wildly, and i'm wondering whether or not sleep will be fitful or restful tonight). My hope is it'll be restful.

PS: my june will be longer than expected

2010-03-01T22:42:00.002-05:00

So snow recovery til June 21st? I'm just thanking that it's not til June 30th or whatever, man. Last year was ridonc--Massachusetts had it til June 25th, and it was sweltering, and we were SO done with school, seriously.

Also--I just watched today (we had parent teacher conferences, so I got to go to school late, yay!) Obamarama on the television talking about some steps to improving the graduation rate of the United States...one of those steps was firing principals and whole staff or part of staff as a last resort. Controversial!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't say whether or not I agree with that, because it seems very Rhee-esque. Does it work? Maybe, to aid in changing the climate of a school...or perhaps it just takes an attitude change? Do principals ever get proper training on how to turn around their schools, or do they just go around as they are, without considering that they, in fact, might be a problem?

With that said, how the hell are we going to change our graduation rates if we constantly focus on testing, testing, testing. Obama, let's get rid of AYP, please...and let's figure out what to do with the standards that 48 states want to focus on regrouping, yah? I doubt this'll happen in the next year or so, but let's get it soon, can we?

dr. tatum and the long road to reading

2010-03-01T22:11:00.002-05:00

Middle school, for the longest time hasn't been much of a challenge. In fact, it's been pretty fun--very little classroom management, very little to do besides let the kids go and be a great teacher. Except now I'm finding myself up against a new challenge: really noticing and assessing their reading abilities.

In a very revealing moment, I finally got to separate myself from my small group and talk to some of my straight-English speaking kids (mainstream, rather) about their reading. And they said to me, "I hate reading, I feel dumb when I read. That's why I hate all my classes." They don't have access to vocabulary, they can't keep track of the books they're reading, and it's hard for them to keep it all together. So what can I do when we start reading an equally, disturbingly hard text in the rBook, "The Fall of the House of Usher???" Oy! Our first page has words like "ease," "moat," "obliged," and many, many more....so what do I do, kids? Again, I ask?

I'ma try and figure this out, because the ridiculousness of it is perplexing and really grinds my gears (to coin a phrase). But also, speaking of Dr. Tatum, I'm thinking of re-writing the text with small parenthetical phrases that give definitions of the words. For my other kids, I'm going to print out some pictures, I think--these'll be for my ESL students. Very important that they don't get too, too confused with these words an' trip up on 'em. Oh, I mention Dr. Tatum cause he's this dude who's pretty bad-ass, and is a wonderful reading advocate and teacher. I believe he's a professor at U of Illinois, Chicago, and worked with kids in Baltimore--talks a lot about transformative texts for black students. Anyways, he had mentioned this thing about building background knowledge, or at least allowing students who can't read well, to access grade-level texts. He showed us a normal text with parenthetical phrases giving short definitions of words, so that you don't have to dwell too much on explaining these things. So, that should be fine. Also, he stressed guiding questions while reading, so that the thing isn't so daunting. So, perhaps that will be part of my Wed. night preparation?

Oy, oy, oy...to be a reading teacher. In the meantime, I hate to admit it, but does anyone know anything about Oyster-Adams, Takoma Ed. Campus, or Stuart-Hobson MS? Or, does anyone know of any other interesting middle schools in DCPS that're looking for people? I wonder what this year's turn-over is going to be like in DC? Predictions?

challenges, 2010

2010-02-07T14:53:00.002-05:00

A whole new classroom full of mainstream students. The energy level is increased by a billion (now that we're filled to capacity 21 kids--don't scoff, that's way out of proportion for Read 180), and I'm finding myself exasperated after each day. The constant reminders, taking time out to talk to people outside the door. The management is crazy. It beats me up, surprisingly. It's also 4th period, so things do get a little nuts then.

One student, D., is having a tough time keeping track of things he's reading. I'm really trying to sit down with him and get him to read, but something's blocking him terribly. He's reading Walter Dean Myers's "The Greatest," which is a biography of Muhammed Ali. He read part of the introduction, and after some pages, he wrote in his reading log "Today I read that Ali and Clay fought." I took a look at it, and sat down next to him and said, you know that they were the same person? He said, "WHAT?" and reread some pages, and gave up (the bell was about to ring). This disconcerts me, and I'm wondering what can I put into place for him so that he can be accountable both for reading (he's been very ridiculous about never reading or writing in his reading log), and also his comprehension of the text. It's just above his reading level, but he's interested in it, so I'd rather he read something he's into than nothing at all.

Does anyone have some tips? He's a 9th grader, stubborn, and loves to wander. He's an attention-seeker, farts in class, and, I think, at his core, wants reassurance that he's doing ok.

school lunch

2010-02-07T14:31:00.003-05:00

You know what grinds my gears (to coin a phrase)? School lunch. Kids are starving when they get back, because they think that everything the school offers is disgusting. Which, could very well be true--but the question is, can the kids stomach the pain (as it were) and eat anyway? It'll keep their energy up, and keep them going. Nope. They barely eat breakfast, even--coffee, said one student of mine. That's it.

Well, let's take a look at school lunch menu this month at high schools.

I mean, it doesn't look so bad, does it? Personally, I could never eat that stuff, so I just had the usual of pizza on Thursdays, and salad bar galore (at least, that's what senior year was all about). But, I wonder if the kids aren't eating because they don't know that there are more options than just pizza and burgers? That there are two lines, and (although I don't know), that those lines most likely have different options. In fact, there are salad options daily (with hearty ranch dressing, gross!), plus deli sandwiches, plus the main meals. It seems to me like there are plenty of options. So what happens? Is it ignorance, or that they follow their guts and it leads them to pizza? It'd be interesting to do an advisory lesson on school lunches, what's healthy, and what's not...no?

insomnia watch: 2010

2010-01-19T07:07:00.003-05:00

Hey there, folks! Welcome to my blog...again. Sorry for being so dull. So here's the scoop: I'm doing better, and adjusting myself more into non-survival mode/depression mode, which means I'm trying to care more about my kids' education in the classroom. Serving their needs along with my own. Sounds like a good thing, I suppose, no? I'm not saying I've been selfish, I'm saying that along the way, I disengaged myself from what the kids were learning because I didn't want it like I would've wanted, say, The Odyssey. Regardless, things'll be getting better now, I think. I hope. Either way, I've still got this tiny little problem:

INSOMNIA 2010!!!

To the untrained eye, it might seem like a movie. To the trained eye, it'll seem like work--or the thought of it, perhaps--is steeling away into my subconscious, making me wake in the middle of the night. I will say, the periods of time when I wake are short (thus, not really insomnia), but my mind wakes completely for a sec, thinks I have to go to work, looks at the clock, then tries fitfully, and finally successfully, to go to sleep again. I've been trying to use guided meditation and warm glasses of milk. It's worked, for the most part, in that it gets me back to sleep. Last night was a little different, though.

I woke up at 5 this morning, turning absently and then groggily awake, to the sound of a bus. I started to dream (in the I'm-about-to-go-to-sleep dreamy way) that I was a waiter, and asking someone's personal opinion on something. Then the dream muddles into all sorts of other unidentifiable things. All in all, not a great rest from 5 til 6:30 am wake-up time.

What do I do? Has anyone had similar experiences? Any advice?

first day back: plus twenty experience points!

2010-01-04T20:02:00.003-05:00

So, in general, I had a pretty great first day back! This is a huge change from all the negativity I've been reeling from for the past forever, so I'm pretty happy about it.

Highlights:

Student A: Are those new glasses, mister? You look real gangsta in 'em!

Student B: *titters*

Student A: No, for real!

My usual ridiculous guy in 3rd period started off his year by handing in a project (woo!), farting in class real loud (not woo, at all), and then making up for it when I gave him a "it is your choice to be inappropriate, your choice to do all this stuff, your responsibility" schpiel.

One kid who totally shut down, kind of opened up to me, said he didn't want to go to this school anymore. I told him that he'd been doing so well (in class...outside, really, he's doing pretty poorly...as in, grade-wise) in terms of being a leader in his group, helping out this other kid who doesn't know diddly (not my words, but ya know, I'm a blogger, so I can say things like that, right?). I want you here, I said. I think all that cheered him up, because he went back inside the room and did all his work.

Off to a good start, Read 180, let's continue chuggin along!

new year, new everything!

2010-01-02T16:37:00.004-05:00

So, as the new year dawns, and school starts tomorrow, I've got plenty on my plate:

1) Grapple with time management and the anxiety that it produces

2) Being reflective about appropriate homeworks

3) Predicting future weaknesses, and planning appropriately

The third one is what I'd like to focus on today. This is the question of the day, it seems! Recently, before the year let out, I grouped my high schoolers differently in one of the classes: low-medium-high (3 groups, respectively). What a relief that was! Now I have students who're much more engaged, and they seem to be learning on a higher rate (except for this one kid who's an utter space cadet), and, more importantly, understanding at a higher rate.

So, now I have to do the same for my middle schoolers. Yikes! I've grouped them pretty well, I think, with one who's about a medium-low, with the rest being low and very low. I'm a little apprehensive about including the medium-low student, because I don't want her to get lazy or fall behind simply because I need to explain or show better. Though, I think she'll benefit. It's tricky. We'll see how it goes.

Either way, I'm scared that this group is going to become an ESL group, where I'm going to have to differentiate a shit ton of language that needn't be in any part of the lesson plan. But, I suppose that'll have to be something done at the end of the day for kids who need more attention.

I'm starting this new year off with a pop (no bang...not just yet), so let's hope this works out.

Here's to a whole new start!

reflecting upon a cure for what ails me...

2009-12-22T23:26:00.003-05:00

It's vacation! Happy vacation everyone! We're about four days into it, and I was trapped in DC during the THUNDERSNOW. That was epic and crazy. I didn't take pictures of the long, wonderful walk I had during the snow. I went off from my place and wandered down 14th St and ended up at the 14th & U Snowball Fight (I like this description, though it's a tad more innocent than the eyewitness report of a cop brandishing a gun...yikes!); ran into a colleague, who went with me to the Mall! Lovely, lovely, all of it. I was freezing afterwards, but that's the price you pay for beauty?

So, now that I'm home, my main goal is three-fold: pull all my grades together; study for my praxis 2 exam (boooo); figure out how to really differentiate and plan well for my kids next quarter; and, most importantly, find a cure for what's ailing me.

I talked it over with my mom, and didn't really come up with much of a plan, unfortunately. But, I have an idea in my head about how to combat some of this negativity: I'm going to firmly plan my feet again and not kid myself: everyone's going through this shit that I'm going through. And it's not that I'm not special in that regard--my own experience is my own experience, I think. I deal with it however heavily I do (perhaps too much so), but I'm going to try to figure out how to go through that bullshit and do things in the school the right way.

I'm going to try and do my hardest to differentiate properly, and really study the units (workshops) that we go through in the rBook. I'll review the skills and the stories and try and predict how the kids're going to struggle, and how they're going to succeed. Some of this stuff is in place from last year, so I won't try and reinvent the wheel. But, as I'm trying to find my own way to deal with the problem of not being invested in my work, I will try and figure out what's best for my students in terms of homework, reviewing for the final, and planning, etc.

Here's what I want to do:

1) Build a review packet for the final like I did last time

2) Figure out what homeworks will be needed next workshop, and what I want the kids to focus on more

3) Write in my "Belief" notebook that I used to for school last year, and spend some time at my old Starbucks haunt from last year developing some curriculum.

4) Get some poetry recitation lesson plans set--I'll be starting some of them soon for an 11th grade classroom. I'm wicked excited about it, and it will provide me some insight into how an English class is run, at least, for now.

5) Write some poetry

6) Relax

first good day in, what, 3 months?

2009-12-18T00:07:00.002-05:00

In the whole semester, I have yet to have a real honest to goodness good day. each one has trudged with its various ups and downs. And, as time's passed, mostly downs. The school i'm at has this poisonous negativity pervading it, and there's not too much that's constructive it seems to me.

Somehow, despite the fact that one of my students refuses (and therefore will not be able to present his project until he does this) to take the reading growth test and swore in my classroom (suddenly kids are swearing, what's with this?) ("I hate this fucking class" was the phrase, I believe), I suddenly had a huge smile on my face come last period. It's not because we had an assembly (I was a little miffed about that), and also not because it was the last period of the day. Rather, I had a sincerely good time teaching reciprocal teaching (a strategy that is best described as a literature circle for all subjects), and enjoyed my third period class immensely when they practiced it. It really showed that they knew what to do (even my students who are ESL caught on, though I had one fracaso (failure) with one kid who had no clue). And that gives me hope that their last project that they'll be working on over the weekend will be fine, as long as they're (gulp) responsible. But, I told them that there's no way they're getting any extensions...it's due the day they get back from break si o si (yes or yes...no other option!).

So, in short, I had a good day today. I was all smiles, and very into my activator (suffixes...mmm, love 'em!). So, I felt good. Tomorrow's the day before vacation...it's time to break out the donuts and juice, and relax.

little moments

2009-11-24T10:25:00.003-05:00

You know, it's funny. After all the complaining and the this and the that of my time spent here in DCPS, I haven't remembered to pay attention to the little things that make me smile here.

So, for one:

Yesterday, the biggest of trouble makers in my middle school class came on time (gasp!) to my class, was respectful (gasp gasp!), participated in small group (GASP!), and helped a student (there is no air on this earth to gasp enough). I was pleased and felt amazing. Nevermind today was the total opposite...but, one day at a time always.

My middle school kids are the best, and I love sharing a laugh with them. Today, one of my students, S., says, "I don't think I'll be coming to school tomorrow." Why, I ask. "I don't really feel like it." So I do the fake chuckle, exaggerate a little, and all, and one of my other students, B., looks at me and says, "Are you OK?" Complete sarcasm. Love it. My kids are fantastic.

High school, I really do enjoy those handshakes. You know you have students' respect when they shake your hand, for the most part. I've fallen into several routines with shaking hands. I do love it.

Students are why I love teaching, afterall. We gotta remember that.

oh i totally had a title for this one...

2009-11-24T07:18:00.003-05:00

I'm blanking on why I wanted to write in the first place. Oh, for some apologia:

Sorry for not posting for so long.

Ok, I said it. Anyways, my IMPACT observation and post-ob conference went down. ON the TLF (teaching & learning framework) I got all 1s and 2s. Sigh. But, for the non-value added stuff, I got mostly 3s, which is good, I suppose. Apparently I need to focus on my questioning...that my questions need to be more deliberate as opposed to heavily scaffolded and rapid-fire (Ok, what's this, what's this, therefore what's this?). Also, let the kids struggle with something...and that I should feel OK with straying from the model (which I do every once and again, afterall, just apparently not that day).

I think this is a "New Leadership" type thing, and I don't really know how to make questions deliberate and to literally "plan" my questioning. Can you really do that and expect all students, including ELL students, to understand and wrestle with the questions?

making my lunch & a quick problem

2009-11-09T22:48:00.003-05:00

I've been, in the past two days, trying to look through my cabinet of curiosities--aka, the internet--for recipes that I might want to do for lunch. It's amazing what comes up when you put in words like, "potato," or "cilantro," or "cabbage" into epicurious.com. Amazing.

So, I think my relaxation will come in the form of cooking for myself lunch each day. What I need to do now, however, is buy myself some more kosher chicken and meat, and some fish. Needs those things, indeed.

Relaxation also takes the form of poetry: the poetry club on Thursdays is my favorite thing to do each week. I can't wait.

Lastly, I have a problem--one of the gym teachers on the middle school side let me borrow his Dan Brown novel. First off, I am slow to read novels. Secondly, I don't really, um, remember his name! I know him by face, though...but I haven't seen him in days! Oy, the plight of forgetfulness. Oh the things I get myself into....ha ha ha?

organization & papier

2009-11-05T20:31:00.002-05:00

It's French week at my school (and probably internationally...maybe), and so my title is um, slightly French, right? Today we had a faculty meeting on best practices with ELL students--I found some things interesting and good to hear (targeting texts, how to modify them/make sure the purpose of the text & its audience is clear, etc), but it left me with lots of questions, still, on what people's best practices are when dealing with ELL students, and what scaffolding can look like for level 1 students who have no real grasp on sentence structure, and have very high frustration rates (I'm thinking of one student in particular).

But, I think those questions will be for another post. Why? Because I'm grading (read: procrastinating grading)! The paper load in my school is immense on a logistical sense, but also I'm realizing my organization of said papers is a hot mess. I tried putting things in folders, but I still find myself wanting in the "sit down and correct" department.

I've been proposed a bunch of things, mainly take certain days out to do certain activities. Since I'm split between middle and high school, I need to make sure I'm available to students on both sides. So, I've dedicated myself to M/W tutoring for middle school, and probably Tuesday for HS. Thursday is poetry club, and ain't no one taking that away from me! But, what about actually gathering all of my papers to correct? That's the toughest thing.

Any suggestions?

honesty, & etc...

2009-11-01T20:02:00.002-05:00

To be clear: my complaint is not with DCPS, and I don't think it will be. If anything, it'd be the administration of my school and the program I'm in. It just wants to have people who play the game, which is fine. And, perhaps, the lesson I should learn is that, in order to survive a cruel, cruel world, I must play the game as best I can. But, I don't quite accept that.

Either way, I just want to be clear: DCPS, I am quite faithful to; R180, we need to talk.

But teachers: is it true? Do we just have to work the system? Do we not have creative freedom is lesson planning? Are administrators really this top-down? Am I being naive?

an open letter

2009-10-29T23:01:00.003-04:00

No offense, r180, but I'm pretty much done with you. Your curriculum and expectations of rote practice and limited teaching move-ability is confining at the very least. If you were a vegetable, you would be the one shriveled one in the bag that I'd rather throw away than eat. If you were a pet, I would never be your owner.

To be frank, you have squashed my dreams of being happy. You and, in conjunction with my administration, have ruined my first year of teaching by strict rules that adhere only to quality process and never to actual quality products. Because of my administration's obsession with going with previous year's plans for ease's sake, as opposed to updating old projects and making much more interesting, my ability to create an actual holistic experience in the classroom is floating terribly down like Icarus. Because of your unwavering attitude toward process and only teacher-student-whiteboard relationships, the ability for our students to experience the kind of guidance and human development research has felt necessary to include.

If you need answer, please tell me this: where do we, as R180 teachers, enter creative use of instruction within this systemic trap?

All in all, R180, I've learned that in the school I'm currently employed under, it is best to just follow the status quo, and never speak out. Best to just leave our work where it is, and push aside innovation, adolescent development and critical thinking in order to stick with the process.

Sirs & madames, I am sorely disappointed.

music

2009-10-14T21:33:00.003-04:00

To play, or not to play. That is the question!

I love playing music, and, in fact, back at Duggan, I found myself playing lots of music. In fact, my usual course of tunes was a CD of pure Yo Yo Ma (which featured both down-tempo and uptempo music) as well as some select pieces on NPR.org. Now, Pandora is accessible at school--it wasn't back in Massachusetts--and that lights up my life. Mostly because that means I can dilly-dally (read: prep) while listening to my favorite stations, and then, when the teaching gets going, I can head over to the station and ask for my "Artur Rubenstein" station, which plays only the best of classical music with a twinge of the moderne, as they say.

Now, the problem I have with Pandora is that it's so freaking amazing that I can't quite concentrate on what I should be working on. In fact, this is my problem with the internet in general, but let's not make this an intervention. (Hi my name is RtD, and I have a problem) Anyways, I have so many things that could be done in a short amount of time (correcting my quizzes for instance, or prepping for portfolio presentations that are coming up in, oh, a week) that I don't do. I blame it on the internet. That oh so lovely, sumptuous, dreamy internet.

after the firings (update)

2009-10-09T20:41:00.003-04:00

I should've been reading the blogs I love more often. I suppose I should learn that empathy-building thing that everyone's talking about. Anyway, there's more to this than I know, and I think it's because, in general, I haven't been following the news via the DCTblogs. That's unfortunate, but that's the way it happened.

It's strange, reflecting on the whole experience, that this hasn't impacted me. It just seems to me that it should have, or that I should've been more upset or more aware about it than usual. It just felt like most teachers weren't talking about it much--or maybe they were, and I was just locked up in my room working, or something. Yikes, it's like I'm early 19th century Japan or something! (right? history teachers? anyone?)

So, in general, I still say that it hasn't affected me as much, except that my class size increased, and that I kept getting these ridiculous, curious, and obscure letters in my room detailing the happenings of the RIF (as people're callin it these days). I never bothered handing those letters out to my kids (that's what we were supposed to do)...because I forgot...but also because it just didn't seem like something important at the time. Obviously I was wrong, duh.

Maybe Mr. Potter's right: maybe there's racism in the school district. Isn't that pretty typical of most cities? Aren't we supposed to be teaching kids not to be racist (i hate it when those freakin kids call my Chinese and Vietnamese kids chinito...it makes me wicked mad...and I hate not being consistent in my detention rules of no racial slurs or judgements), though? And also, is there a larger proportion of principals in schools like Kelly Miller or Cardozo or Roosevelt that are white? Because as I understand it, racism is about people in position of social power (not economic power, like principal vs. staff) beating down on those in the minority as it were, or those with less social power. I dunno...does that make the city or the DCPS itself racist?

glory

2009-10-08T20:10:00.005-04:00

My blogging nerdiness is apparent: I feel honored and fantastic: I'm on the links list of one of my favorite DC bloggers. I can definitely say that a several lot of DC teaching bloggers have influenced me greatly in my decision to come to DC.

Despite all the strife they experience, it's apparent that they are committed to their students, and will go through what they need to in order to advocate for and teach their kids. It's great to see that, and I have to say that's one of things that made me curious and excited to teach here.

Woo!

after the firings

2009-10-08T19:32:00.002-04:00

So, it's been a while (as usual), and my usual apologies.

Oh, the firings. I can't quite tell, to be honest, who has gotten fired, as our administration was pretty tight-lipped about it. Which is good, actually, because it keeps the integrity and privacy of the people who were fired at my school. So, the question is: should I really feel terrible? I'm fortunate enough to be in a school where only 7 teachers were fired (fortunate in that in schools like Cardozo, 40 teachers got fired). We're all still doing our jobs, and of course some of our students were affected and disappointed and all...but honestly, I just didn't feel it. One of my classes rose from 12 to 17...that made a bit of a difference, sure, but besides that?

So, let me ask: is it bad that I don't feel as up in arms as I should be? I'm not a huge union fan (I must've driven away tons of readers by saying that!), at least not a huge old/established/bureaucratic/entrenched union fan. Don't get me wrong--I love popular movements (I did live in Latin America for a little while)

Also, should I go to SE on Tues to see a student of mine's football game, or wait til the next one that's closer?

personally, drowning

2009-09-23T19:38:00.003-04:00

Hey folks. Sorry for such delays. As you know, life gets in the way. I guess I'm not such a fantastic regular blogger; but I'm trying. Either way, as the title suggests, I'm personally drowning. I feel a little suffocated by my middle school class, to be honest. It's my own difficulties with timing, but other than that, I'm pretty ok in how I deal with things. There's lots of work that I'm lacking (how to guide my high schoolers and middle schoolers towards interpreting their own data as an interim assessment for that matter. Maybe I'll work on that soon?), and I'm feeling like I'm not quite sure what to do about it. Prepare, prepare, prepare, I suppose.

In general, my main concern is that I have ESL/ELL students who are having an eternal struggle with expressing their thoughts. So, I put it out to my educator folk: does any know any strategies for helping students put together sentences? It's just incredible how difficult it is--you try and use sentence starters, and they don't even know what those mean, for that matter!

So, again, the question: how much do you allow the student (how much lee-way), and how much do you allow them to try and figure out for themselves?

my life is a little like this....

2009-09-10T20:52:00.002-04:00

http://xkcd.com/616/

xkcd--a webcomic for the math and otherwise hilarious oriented.

finally, students

2009-09-10T18:30:00.002-04:00

Sorry for such a delay. It's hard updating your blog when you're a new teacher and so much is on your plate. So, I'll be a bit brief.

After what seemed like an unending frustration, I finally have 9th graders. I've been struggling, however, with catching them up to things that I myself don't seem to have a complete grasp on. I've started them on their journey toward figuring out what Read 180 is, and have begun their study (read: boring video and some made-up activities that really are not very lively and make me feel quite unprepared...RtD needs to rev things up a bit!) of the different rotations (reading, small group, and computers). But, making those activities original is a bit of a difficult challenge sometimes.

Either way, the middle school class is moving, and I think tomorrow I need to take some time to go over certain things that I missed when I laid out the explanation of the rotations. It's difficult, because things keep popping up that I never really was told about. I should change my blog name to..."Things I've Never Been Told About, But Now Have to Include in My Teaching Routine..." or something.

Anyways, something that seemed to work today is my small group with the ELL/ESL students. I ran around and around because suddenly new students are being added to my roster (I went from 10 to 21 very quickly), and handed ownership on to an ESL student who's lower in English verbally, but I think knows very well how to pronounce words when they're laid out in front. Her translation comprehension is also pretty good, too. Anyways, I gave her the reigns--and the instructions: for her to read a sentence to her group together, and then have the other students sort of repeat it back. Her comprehension of the paragraph was great. The lesson was on main idea and details, and, though we only got to details, I feel that's fine--because we're going to revisit main idea and details the whole entire month; so it should be fine.

I scaffolded it this way:

1. Whole group -- model reading
2. Small group -- you do the reading
3. Had them find three important details in one part of the passage.
4. Name one by one IN ENGLISH the important facts, which was explained as important information
5. Explain that those important pieces of information are called details, and that those details lead to a central idea (cognates in Spanish), or the main idea.

I think the scaffolding seems to work. Does anyone have any ESL/ELL strategies for teaching main idea and details, or just strategies you use in general?

teacher & learning framework

2009-08-30T21:37:00.002-04:00

As a lot of the blogs in this town are politically minded, I won't comment too much on politics. But, since politics affects how I teach (indirectly), and that the Chancellor here is wicked into working her way into how teachers teach (obviously...she's trying to make this place the best the District can be) (though she's everyone's favorite person to hate on, it seems), Michelle Rhee has developed a new "Teaching & Learning Framework" which has its main focus on three basic ideas:

Plan-->Teach-->Increase Effectiveness

The idea is that you plan first, teach next, and increase effectiveness through formal and informal assessment or formative and summative assessment and data, which then allows you to plan effectively and therefore begin to teach better. And the cycle goes on.

It's not so novel, but it's novel to a city where education has been pretty lackluster throughout the recent years. It's a lot of reflective practice, and a look at data, which is not necessarily classified as number-driven data, rather anecdotal, personal, and observational as well. Which is nice to know, since I always thought data meant numbers, which I struggle with. Good thing we did tons of reflecting in my grad program!

Anyways, it's good to know that this kind of practice is at least trying to be implemented throughout the District. Also, the behavioral policy's been modified a tad too. I wonder how that's bein implemented. We'll see how it goes, as the news in blogs keeps rollin!

the first week, encapsulated in one blogspot

2009-08-30T21:22:00.002-04:00

Each day brought its own challenge, but each day built upon itself. My first day was quite the adventure, as I never really knew whether or not I was going to receive students and, subsequently, have a class to welcome into my arms--this is because the previous week, I never got a roster, so I was pretty clueless about the student-getting process. Now, I'm all ready to go, and then, suddenly, the scheduling person, E., comes in and the conversation goes:

"So Mr. R., since you don't have students, then you'll be down in room 148 on the middle school side, helping the middle school Read 180 teacher."

"You mean, like, share his class?" says I.

"You'll be splitting his class, because there's an overflow of students. Ok, bye!"

Obviously it wasn't exactly like that, but it seemed like that to me. I was in utter and complete shock, because I had just set up this lovely, lovely (and it really is--I still haven't had time to take a picture, so maybe tomorrow I will) classroom and put my heart and soul into cleaning out the shite that's all up in there; I thought I was no longer going to be in this room, and was relegated to sharing a room that had nothing to do with my class (148 is a social studies room, and not mine...which is a big bummer, cause we have to set up the library, etc for the students!). I'm still a little upset, and confused about the configuration, but it's worked out so far. In truth, I love middle schoolers--they're freakin hilarious and fun to work with. I'm sure the 9th graders are, but it's still fun to work with 7th and 8th graders.

So, that was that. I'm now a first period MS Reading teacher! As for the 9th graders, I'm still workin on that. The story is, since I had all these free periods, I spent the majority of it going around and gathering spelling tests (arguably not very accurate when talking about ability, but it's an entryway into judging whether students need my reading test, because it judges their phonemic awareness (I think...haha) and word recognition (this is true) for stuff like normal sight-words like "mine," "alike," or "red." As well as grade-level vocab (although lieutenant is in there, and, I mean, common, it took me a minute to think how to spell that one). Anyways, so after the correcting, I took kids in all Thurs/Friday to have them tested for my reading class. I now have about...40 some-odd kids, so like, two periods, which is perfect.

Tomorrow I have some more testing to do (but only two kids). The rest of that time will be me heading down into 148 and setting up the library during our lunch period.

Here's to week two! I'm excited!

phew!

2009-08-21T21:43:00.002-04:00

The end of the week of stressful hell. I finally put together my room after a long week of professional development (great) and cleaning my room (interesting and stressful).

I don't have a picture yet, but I'm sure I will tomorrow (yes, I'm going into the school tomorrow--the janitor let me borrow an umbrella because it's pouring out*). It really does look like a classroom, which is wonderful. The room set up is interesting because I finally have much more space.

To give you an idea: the space is incredibly symmetrical on a diagonal line. Imagine tables fit enough for two kids, all situated not facing the board, necessarily, but facing each other. It's tough to explain the set up because it's different. But it'll be so that the kids will be turning sideways to turn towards me and the board. There're four desks in a separate fashion, and two pairs of desks doubled up to make squares (the actual desks are rectangular). So that essentially you have two groups of four students, and four groups of two students. I'll post a picture tomorrow.

So i finally got semi-accused of being racist...or at least my accused of being insensitive to black suffering, i suppose. That sort of took me by surprise. i've had such good luck recently with talking to people on the bus, and I said, "Long Day..." to the guy next to me and he just looked at me and said, "We've suffered 3000 years and all you have to say is long day? I haven't gotten my three acres." Which, I didn't really get too much, the last part that is, but...I felt pretty bad. I guess that was the goal. Has anybody ever experience this before? I mean, I don't feel bad now...but weird, man. Gives me chills...

*the lightning is awe-inspiring it's so lengthy and huge. It hasn't yet thundered, but I'm just waiting for it. Oop, just thundered. It's long over-due...DC's been muggier than what you put your coffee in. Good to dispell the humidity, no?

training

2009-08-16T19:30:00.003-04:00

Tomorrow brings the first day, er, eleventh day, of training for me. The school really wants teachers (especially new ones) to be well-trained; but, this time it's with all the teachers, and not just the new ones.

I've been advised to both be friends with new and non-new teachers for reasons both in the way of mentorship and also so that you can compare to how things were "before" if you know what I mean. Either way, they apparently are great, so I'm pretty excited to be a part of their staff, too.

My most anxious thought: how the hell am I gonn' get prepared for a whole year...in a week??? Yes, ladies and gents, my planning has not yet begun due to the stupid scheduling of our all-staff training and welcome back professional development. Ridonc in the badonkadonk.

But, all my questions (as I have many) will be answered as we start our planning...I'll probably bring a lunch tomorrow--tuna fish, anyone?

quick house-keeping and an important question

2009-08-13T22:59:00.003-04:00

To those of you who have just come in, it must be a little bit confusing this layout and the switch-over from a blog about Springfield to a blog about DC. So, I'll lay it all out for ya:

Two days ago, I began the DC part of this adventure and changed my moniker from Suddenly, Springfield to Reading the District. Before, I thought I was rejected by DCPS--but it turns out that I wasn't rejected 100%, rather (like everything in DC, complications) put off the "preferred list," which meant that I wasn't invited to get the triple-threat panel interview, the phone interview, and the case-study. Which, to be honest, I'm pretty happy about.

That was the blog post before I started this job. Since then, I was interviewed, and dropped off the face of the blogosphere to enjoy the life known as job hunting and "finishing the end of the year." Thus, the posting lackage for a long while. Anyway, I've been hired and have gone to two productive, overwhelming orientations and workshops (they sent me away to Nashville (say what playa???) with my Read 180 team (that's the program I'm working with)). Now I'm onto round three and next week is round four before school (like, gulp, Scoob!) starts the 24th.

Speaking of which, something that caught my eye in my reading on my "first three weeks" as a Read 180 teacher (they have a little booklet for that complete with absolute instruction as to what I should do, etc, which is great, though a little dry and the "get to know each other" games are more boring than a cage match between a potato and a zucchini (which by the way I did not know how to spell.) So, anyway, what caught my eye was setting up expectations. They have room for us to talk about it, but not much in the way of setting up the groundrules day one. Instead, they begin to have on day four, which seems odd to me. Why not begin your class by introducing not only each other but also the rules of engagement, as it were?

The main question I have is: what should my rules and expectations be? According to my Adolescent Growth & Developoment teacher (shudder), I should have no more than five norms/rules. And no more than five consequences to breaking those norms/expectations/rules. Now, my question is: what the hell're my norms going to be? Shall I break the mold and dispense with the "thou shalt always raise your hand" norm? Go hippy-dippy and talk about RESPECT and what that means to us? I was thinking of adopting the ol' character targets: RESPECT, RESPONSIBILITY, COURAGE, QUALITY and COMPASSION. Those can be spinned pretty well; but how, in God's great earth, can you make norms out of those?

These are my questions world--any answers or alternatives?

my hope of hopes

2009-08-12T21:17:00.002-04:00

is that I will be discovered by fellow DC teacher posters Dee, DCTC, Harry Potter, and New Teacher on the Block.

iwishiwishiwishiwish....

the new teacher blues

2009-08-12T19:38:00.002-04:00

Hello true believers! I'm still here (as in alive and still in the teaching biz), and still interested in blogging. Apologies for not posting, as life has been rather hectic as of, oh, i don't know, the past two months or so.

I also have to apologize just now for the true believers reference (if anyone can get it, you get a star and a ten)--I am reading a book about a nerd (The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Diaz, an excellent book) that is rife pero rife with nerdly references all over the place. Consider it bad influence.

So, as of now, the blog has been rededicated and I've been renamed as Reading the District. To begin: I am now a Reading teacher at a DC public school. This means that the brunt of posts will be about not only tales of students (as usual), but also reading strategies, interesting tidbits about the program we're using, and what I've been learning as I help build academic and otherwise interesting vocabulary and reading comprehension and fluency skills in the kids I'll be teaching. I can't wait to start, though my planning hasn't yet begun (it will start, apparently, on Monday, which is only a week--yes, a week--away from school's start. This is not because of procrastination, rather, no knowledge of what the curriculum according to the school will be (our school has an interesting backwards planning method, which is great and focused--except I haven't been privvy to any of the previously planned projects that've been set up)). Blues #1.

Blues #2: DCPS New Teacher Training is tomorrow, and, because of a fluke (I hope) or because I hadn't been contracted yet (more likely), I had never gotten the email to sign up for it. So, I can't attend. Boo. Luckily, someone called me today just to make sure all my papers were in order, and I asked her about it and she gave me some emails, etc. At least some aspects of DC bureaucracy isn't all that effed up. So, hopefully the person'll get back to me in time, and I will be contracted soon, like tomorrow. Hopefully.

As for the rest of it all, I'm hoping to head to a training tomorrow and Friday about Advisory, which is something that I did at my old school back in Springfield. Then, Monday I begin Professional Development (again), and the 24th is the first day of school.

Here's to a new blog, and a new school year!

confusing

2009-06-07T14:58:00.004-04:00

so i was rejected by the DCPS (dc public schools), apparently. that's incredibly unfortunate. i don't really know what to say to that. does that mean that i can't continue in DC at all? or can i go to individual schools? if that's the case, then how did i get an interview at this one school in DC?? strange, strange. i hope they don't reject me on the basis that i wasn't accepted into the DCPS system...oy. i'm a little disappointed, to be honest.

how does this affect my job search now?

i like writing. writing is fun.

2009-06-03T20:17:00.002-04:00

and i love teaching grammar. man, i'm quite happy to be getting into familiar territory. let me back up a bit.

our unit is not titled, unfortunately--nothing snappy like before with Empowering the Skin I'm In...too bad, huh? well, our new unit is on folktales. we did a little study on telling and retelling stories (aka, the premise behind folktales). along with that, i enveloped the kids in this kick i had: vivid details. as a writer, that's a big no duh. but the kids need practice. they need to get into the idea that writing means you have to be powerful, snappy, interesting! so we did that, and that was fun and worked out very well--we did a bunch of mini-lessons on four of the eight parts of speech (adverb, adjective, noun and verb) and made them all vivid. so i think it's clear to say that they know what the word means, and what it implies, which is awesome. their application of said vivid details is pretty decent in one class, and in the other it's a bit weak. but i think some vocabulary lessons and quizzes could help that out.

we then did a big investigation (it's an Expeditionary Learning term, i feel) of folktales, and now we're doing a more in-depth investigation of tall tales. we're watching Big Fish, which is an awesome movie, and it's helping them get more of a picture of tall tales, i feel. at the end of this, i expect them to be experts on the style of tall tales, and how they should be told/written, which is what we'll be doing: writing tall tales! i scrapped the idea of memoir for some continuity, so we'll be doing a slight bit of memoir now, but really only a small bit. either way, it'll be awesome, i think, and i'll be able to teach some grammar and story-writing.

that's the news. nothing fantastic as of yet. the DC interview (i had an interview!) went well, but i haven't heard anything from them yet. i got positive signals, but when i called them yesterday, i got the "thank you for calling, we're still in the interview process, but we'll call you and let you know by at least next week." so, i dunno what that means. i'm really hoping that i get this job--it's a great school, and it seems like a fantastic fit for me. here's hoping!

isn't poetry great?

2009-05-13T20:08:00.002-04:00

a couple of great poems to use for the classroom:

Stink Eye by Cathy Song

this is a really nice poem because it helps out (helped me out) with a little bit of a bullying study and writing assignment. i have middle schoolers (sixth graders), so i don't assume them to do too much with this beyond content discussion, but it's also great for looking at dramatic monologues and voice for those in high school.

Dream Variations by Langston Hughes

i mean, come on. Langston Hughes is an old standard. "A Dream Deferred," which you should never ever discount, gives me chills every time i read it out loud. but "Dream Variations" is really nice given the title and its implications when you consider the poem and the poem's refrain "Black like me" and "Dark like me".

I also want to put this to consideration:

"Another pair of gilded transpirations" by Joshua Beckman

Another pair of gilded transpirations
kept me happy all night -- the bay aglow with revelers,
those shore hollow stones making home in your chest.
Cold waters that wash down such olympian quandaries
and sorrowful cascades set free. "Daniel, now hold that
cup carefully." That's the sort of thing mother
would say to me, the sun playing about the witch hazel
in the courtyard. With an emerald magnetism
the dew settles. I have been writing lately
on the grief of the body. I enclose
about my head memories and am in due course awoken.
In direct relation to the sun, wind, and rain
my apple tree produces.

now you can call me strange. you can say, "but i don't get it!!" well, that's not my problem! well, in a way yes, in a way no. what you see here is a thirteen line almost-sonnet. not in the traditional sense, of course, rather in a very interesting combination of the sonnet tradition and the jarring-narrative/non-narrative play that apparently has begun to set in as a trend in some poets under 40 these days. in the traditional sense, this is a perfect study of a sonnet: you have a narrative (albeit it strange) that seems to have some sort of trajectory (albeit strange) in the beginning. then, the latter half of the poem, starting with "I have been writing lately..." takes a turn (something that the Petrarchan sonnet does frequently, from stanza one to stanza two, or what the Elizabethan sonnet will do at the ending couplet). in the non-traditional sense, we have a sonnet that's only thirteen lines! i think that this can be used in terms of studying contemporary uses of the sonnet (in high school, maybe in a senior AP course), but also of the idea of narrative and non-narrative lyrics. it's a great exercise for a creative writing class, or a class studying different types of poetry to mimic or examine this technique of writing a poem because i think it creates a deeper kind of poetry, something more sudden, haphazard-looking, and meandering. students should be encouraged to meander in their writing and to break their thoughts suddenly if the poem calls for it. it's a great stylistic attribute, and will add character to the students' writing.

maybe i'll do this as a nice little featurette every once and again...yes?

reflections on the expedition

2009-05-13T19:43:00.002-04:00

later on i'm going to give a few pointers based on some PD we did once on the difference between a "learning expedition," which is a feature of being at an Expeditionary Learning school, and a unit. the basic idea is that the expedition has the concept of field work built into it, and the end result is a product that is physical and documented (like a video, a book of work, or something) that sort of like the accumulation of all the knowledge the kids've gained while exploring the topic they're exploring. units can be based around certain ideas and themes, and so can expeditions (ours is "Surviving Adolescence," for example), but the real expedition is about something specific--a "compelling topic" as it were.

well, our compelling topic was Sierra Leone, and specifically child soldiers, and more specifically Ishmael Beah's "Memoirs of a Boy Soldier." so, we rehearsed and rehearsed and rehearsed a dance, a poem, a song and a play; we painted a mural (i mean the kids--two really--although i really mean my mentor teacher did it all and the kids colored it in...) and we put it all together in front of the other students of the school. 400 kids. it was fantastic. the kids did very, very well, and i'm very proud of them.

ishmael beah came, also. yup! he came to our school and spoke to our kids. they had lots of questions for him, usually about the same question that the other student next to him/her asked. but, it's all good. they felt completely satisfied and grateful for his coming to see them. i, however, was wicked awkward in front of him. never thank an author. he knows you're grateful. anyway, point of it is, we finished the book the day he came to our school. it's a bit pathetic, but that's how it goes. as for the final exam, i'm rather disappointed in my execution of it, but also the apathy that many students have for completing it. it's unfortunate. but, should it really be any skin off my back if they tell me they're not going to do it and get the zero anyway?

all in all, it was a very, very rushed reading of the book. i would've loved to do it at a much slower pace, but that's just not the case, really. i'd also like to have figured out much more a homework schedule (another issue i'd like to discuss at another point in time) and also a reading day vs. non-reading day. the schedules just were too crazy, and i never intergrated much of the stuff i wanted to integrate into the reading of the book. it sucks, but i suppose that's just how it went.

all in all, goods and challenges. i'm sure i'll be more prepared and be able to time my reading of a book much better. learning rules!!!

some ideas for the next unit

2009-04-23T11:54:00.002-04:00

the next unit will be writing a memoir, as per the end of A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier. so, what shall we do? i mean, we have to do something interesting, right? it can't just be a plain old thing, right? right.

so, they'll be writing a memoir. i think what i'm going to do is have it done incrementally (well, you have to!)...so i think what i've got going will try and last me until the second week of june is this:

1. introduce what a memoir is by way of quick lecture and activity...possibly spending a day or two on it, showing the different possibilities of memoir, having them explore them and maybe figure out what a memoir is all about, and why people would want to write a memoir in the first place.

2. an intense grammar unit that will go along with their actual memoir writing...i'll be using The Power of Grammar by mary ehrenworth and vicki vinton...it's a wonderful book and is incredibly helpful in planning an "inquiry-based" approach to teaching grammar--so not just doing direct instruction, rather having the kids figure out the Why Use Grammar question themselves (with proper modeling, etc).

3. write a memoir--this will be in tandem with the grammar instruction, because the writing itself will fuel the grammar practice and revision. i think this will take a good two weeks to do, and if it takes longer than i'm not so worried about it. i'll plan two weeks for it and leave room. anyways, this'll funnel into the other part of my whole plan, which is...

4. wrapping it up. in their exploration of different forms of memoir, i'm going to introduce them to comic book/graphic novel style memoir; storycorps (check out www.storycorps.org, it's really pretty awesome); comic book diaries; traditional memoir/memoir in verse; and i had another idea, but i forget what it was. so, the idea is that they'd take their memoir and wrap it up into a different format, finally: either a story, a comic book diary/graphic novel, or a traditional memoir (in that case, it'd be more of a refining process than anything else...i might wann' work the kinks out of that).

some reflections after visiting the district of columbia

2009-04-23T10:55:00.002-04:00

i don't know how to start this post, so i guess i'll just preface it all with what i did the past few days: i went to DC! yes, my home away from home (since i went there for college) has popped into my mind several times, and i've figured out that that is where i want to be when i teach as a real-life, fully employed teacher.

so, since we have vacation now i thought i'd head to DC to see many people and visit a few schools. here are some impressions:

the first school i visited was off the benning road metro stop, not far away from it. if you look at the map, it means that it's across the anacostia river, which means that, most likely, no white person lives there, and the accent suddenly twangs intensely and it gets much more southern sounding. for a white person like me, although accustomed to a diverse (aka, not predominantly white) school, who's also a northerner, it seems that my skin suddenly whitens more and my little racisms that i'm terribly embarassed about pop up. i went to the office and sat around stewing in my own ridiculousness--blazer, etc.

getting past that, i saw some nice sixth grade classes--two english classes and a special ed class. i also saw an eighth grade class, but they had finished and were just kind of foolin 'round (everyone was preparing for DC-CAS, the standardized test apparently based off the MCAS, Mass's test). quite honestly, the classes looked pretty intense--like, probably, a class at CMS where some of my friends are doin' there teaching, too. i think it was the outside of the class stuff that rubbed me the wrong way: the way that kids were roaming, the way that one girl sang directly in my ear (i guess my nervousness played right into that, but still).

what i liked: professional development every day, and for different purposes, too. once a week, there was something called "classroom blitz," which has the teachers observing other teachers, which keeps them on their toes and all their requirements in order. i like that a lot. also that they have a "respect center," where the kids can chill out and reflect on why they shouldn't smack someone upside the head, or whatever may happen. that's very similar to our school, which is nice.

what i didn't like was that there weren't any paraprofessionals due to understaffing. and no technology, which sucks but if that's how it goes, that's how it goes.

i think, for the sake of length, i will keep it at this...tomorrow i'll post about the other school i went to.

in the midst of ridiculousness, there is always the hilarious

2009-04-02T23:44:00.000-04:00

today one of my sixth graders, C., said to me, "I like your plaid shirt."

Me: Thanks!
C.: Yeah, it tells the world "I really like plaid shirts and sweaters!"
Me: [laughing hysterically] You don't know how true that is!
C.: [realizing i only wear plaid shirts and sweaters] You have a point!

sometimes, in the midst of the ridiculous frustrations of daily stuff, there is always the hilarious.

the job search goes on and a few frustrations...

2009-03-24T22:50:00.000-04:00

i've been looking a lot at where i'd like to be when i grow up, er, when i graduate from the umass program. so far, i've been extremely interested in going back to DC; going to philadelphia to be close to my girlfriend and friends; and new york, which is a curiosity but isn't high high on the priority list. naturally, my fall back is springfield, which i think i will apply to in the district, and, if there is an opening, then at my school.

well, after looking at lots of DC schools, i've decided to head down there and take a look for myself. i'm extremely interested in seeing what things look like down there, and have already contacted one public school. i'm looking to see at least one or two more schools while i'm down there (one more public, and a charter school), and also maybe a school in NOVA (northern va) and also roaming around alexandria a bit to see what that's like.

anyways, i'm trying to find out about the different neighborhoods of philly, seeing as i've been there on visits for about 8 years now, and still know barely anything about the area. i mean, no surprise there--it's not like i've been on outings to the outskirts besides where my friends take me, which is usually center city or six flags (our amazing tradition). and i'm not complaining--center city is amazingly rich (historically) and cool and i'd love to explore more of it, actually. mm...walks. anyways, if i want to teach in philly, i should know a bit about the areas, and how the education works there.

what frustrates me is the idea of what's "good" and what's "bad." my friend a. says that usually when people say bad, they mean violent. north philly is violent. southwest philly is violent. apparently. but what about when we refer to good and bad schools? what makes a school good, what makes a school bad? is it performance? is it level of invested students? is it professional development? is it technology? how can someone say, there are no good schools in an area? if that were true, then no one would be teaching in those places, right, and only teaching in suburbs, where the "good" schools are--which, by the way, i was a product of and, although the education there is prized highly, and success, like all suburban cultures, is tantamount to godliness, the school is a pile of shit: lead in the paint (probably), and terribly corroded pipes that put the school on probation for several years. so then, is my high school good by that standard?

i'm teaching in springfield. a supposedly "bad" place to teach, because it's urban. there is lots of violence, and the kids (most, not all) come from homes that are not always the best of situations. sometimes school is often the safest place to be. so why, then, is my school environment and culture so much more improved and pleasing to me than the other schools i've heard about/been to? performance-wise it's not fantastic. in fact, i'm sure our MCAS scores (state tests) are gonn' be not so fantastic this year, either. and yet i consider it to be a great school--it fosters an amazing environment where good character is top priority, and becoming self-reflective is a requirement of all students in learning and behavior.

so what's good? what do you judge by? how can you judge a school?

these are some of the questions that frustrate me as i look for jobs, but also frustrate me when people pass judgement on certain schools. i know, in the end, good for me means professional development, a good student-to-computer ratio, and a supportive administration that knows its students and is not too big for its own britches.

the search continues....

some ideas for the new unit

2009-03-03T21:13:00.000-05:00

so i've been trying to find some sort of angle to place upon the reading of our new book, the memoir A Long Way Gone. and by trying i mean ideas have trickled in and out of my head when i've put my brain to it, and now that i'm trying to rest in my bed and plan for tomorrow, i've begun to think about the book as a whole, and the unit as a whole.

i had originally titled a lesson plan with my unit as "the struggle for voice." a bit of a play, as ishmael beah's struggle is about escaping the war, joining the military as a boy soldier, and eventually coming to grips with his emotional scarring and past after having been "rescued" of sorts by UNICEF (i will never know what that acronym stands for...until i look it up). the voice part is that, according to my mentor teacher, J, his ultimate purpose in life is tell his story, and that's why he wrote that book. it's the one way he can come to grips with his past and get some reconcilliation.

there is a scene in the book where he applies and gets accepted to this UN conference of many different children from countries bound by terrible conflict. the children share their stories, cry, and comfort each other with all this. then ishmael goes back to freetown, the capital of sierra leone. the war suddenly comes into the city; he must escape again, and he does, and though the story ends before he goes back to NYC, we know that's where he ends up. points of it all, is, so he escaped, but how does he deal with his past? storytelling, aka finding his voice.

thus, "the struggle for voice." i hadn't thought much of it til now, nor what i wanted to do with it. i always had this wonderful idea of bringing in some speakers to help me out with finding voice, but it was more of a pipedream than anything else. now, i think it might work with some planning, which i'm getting a bit better at doing.

here are my ideas for the unit:

name is "the struggle for voice." filter the book through two themes: struggle and voice. introduce the idea of theme as opposed to main idea (something they'll be struggling with a bit, but i think we'll figure it out) (mass standard/power standard 11.3)
link the previous unit on empowerment to struggle and voice.
since we're doing the talent show fundraiser, have all the kids work on their reading fluency and performance (mass standard/power standard 3.8)
bring students each day to the auditorium to hold class...it'll be a nice break from the classroom environment, plus a fantastic way to use space in order to read passages.
work consistently on reading fluency (3.8), performance of passages in the book, and enforcing the idea that good readers focus on the whole text, not just the words. the question is, though, how? any ideas?

so that's that...if anybody has any ideas, i'd love to share them.

a bit of an update

2009-02-25T19:58:00.001-05:00

hello friends. sorry for not having posted for so long. things have gone here and there. february break came and went. we're back into the grind and i've been through a rollercoaster of a three-day stint of school days.

something that i've found super uber challenging is making the material i have in my classroom my own. over the previous weeks before feb. break, i came up with this whole big unit on EMPOWERMENT (something that the kids definitely got, i think, in the end). it was something i struggled immensely with, having tons of ideas and not enough time or the capacity to do well, due to time constraints. i honestly don't know if i want to continue with those ideas during the two and a half months we now have for our new novel (A Long Way Gone: Memoirs of a Boy Soldier), but it's quite possible i can muster up something that creates some daily activities for the kids. i think i'm not going to try to reinvent the wheel, while still being as creative as possible during this whole book thing. i'm getting more and more excited about this as i go, i think, which is nice. third day back from vacation, and now i feel a bit more invested in the project.

this whole project beginning is something called a gallery walk, where the kids have a load of information up on a wall that they can take down and read over and take some notes on facts they find, powerful words and phrases, and lingering questions. the ultimate goal is for them to do a writing process piece: either a poem or a letter. the topic is the war fought in sierra leone from '91 to '01. i find a lot of people latching onto some good information, and i think what'll happen is we'll get some really good poems out of this in one of my class, and some really good letters out of the other class.

all this is the introduction to the memoir we're reading. we're going to be doing some cool hands-on stuff, because we're doing a fundraiser for sierra leone involving TONS of artistic things: poetry recitation, painting, african dancing, a skit, lots of things. it'll be quite interesting, i think, and very, very fun. i think part of the learning process will be how to really speak loud and proud, because the stage is big and they need to project. i want to teach them how to speak loudly with their voices and bodies. that'll be a big goal for me. i mean, we all know how i get into poetry (please see other blog, hah), and so performance is an integral part of it all, afterall. but, on the academic side of things, i'd like to see if anyone has something they'd like to suggest. i'd love to hear any ideas, and am throwing this out to the public:

what reading strategies can i do promote stronger reading skills like comprehension and interpretation?

anywho, lots of stress the past couple of days. now, i'm more into this thing. i'm trying to make this my own, even though i never came up with the ideas. let's make this work!

i feel like an a-hole

2009-01-29T21:00:00.000-05:00

i yelled today. real loud. so loud, another teacher opened the door and peeked her head through to check if everything was ok. i forgot that when i have a loud voice, i really have a loud voice. my problem is, when i get frustrated out of my mind i yell. it takes a lot to get me to yell. i haven't done anything like that since teaching in santiago. i guess it's almost a repeater. i won't do it again, i'm sure. but something's gotta happen with this class. they're so unruly and the idea of controlled chaos as opposed to utter chaos is unknown to them.

one of the teachers suggested an entire class detention. if they can't do anything on my time, do it on their time. they have to learn as a class who's in charge. does that work?

what works for a class that has adhd/add problems as well as a general uber-hyper sense? how does discipline go? i've already done student contracts. tossed out the window, that thing. any tips? i'm puttin this out to the general republic.

i'm an english teacher, right?

2009-01-28T16:24:00.001-05:00

so i had a student point out to me that instead of the word assessment, i wrote "assment."

he says to me, "mr. r, i think you spelled assessment wrong."
i take a look at gasp, "OH! oh...um, thanks, n!"

as i was correcting it, i heard him whisper to his neighbor, "he wrote assment..."

yes, indeed, my life is full of friendly surprises.

learning, and learning more

2009-01-26T13:18:00.001-05:00

i have a lot of work to do with this literature circle stuff.

this is most definitely the biggest learning experience i've ever had. both in terms of doing things on my own terms (which i will obviously have to do), and how to make up for when i sort of fail.

re: fail

the writing process: brainstorming; draft #1; revision; editing; final draft.
what i got accomplished: brainstorming; draft #1; partly revised, partly not revised; "final(slashonlydraftthatsomeactuallyaccomplished) draft."

what did i learn? that's the subject and title for another blog post.

re: literature circles

it looks interesting, and looks like it'll be completely fun. but, i have to hand out all the different papers that the kids need in order to collect all of their information. otherwise i'm kinda up a puddle without a paddle. i've printed them out, and am hoping that they are in order, and make sense. if not, i'll improve them as they go.

re: general

in general, things're much better than last week, and i think i'm realizing a little more how to handle the different tasks ahead of me. optimism indeed.

more teaching blues

2009-01-15T19:57:00.000-05:00

today was not a good day in terms of writing instruction. my second class is just terrible when it comes to self-esteem issues in their writing, and i just don't seem to understand what to do when certain kids give up like they do. accusing me of not ignoring them? crossing out an excellent paragraph because it's "dumb"? what do i do? i gave up. i mean, not during class, but right after--i just didn't know what to do.

i'm trying to prepare the kids for this interim assessment, which is essentially a 7th grade MCAS long-comp. the subject is "empowerment"--it's something that we defined a little bit ago, but there's this real divide between those who get it and don't, and those who, probably because they don't get it, hate the work and refuse to do it and those who do get it and do the work. it's like the mason dixon line, it's that deep.

i'm going to try and re-teach the idea of empowerment. try and get it back into the definition and what it means for them. try and clear the air and clear the air and clear it so that it's more like a spring day than these winter gray days. i just don't know if i'm accomplishing much, and if, at the end of all this year, they're going to walk away with anything. that sounds depressing, but i'm just not sure if the teaching points i wanted to get accomplished are on their way. i suppose it's all work, and that i'm really only, what, seven months into my new career as a teacher, and that i'm still a student teacher at that?

on another note...

i'm learning new stuff about wikis and blogs and such--i mean, really wikis. it's very interesting, and seems to me like a very cool thing to tool around with. i'd love to do this with my kids in class, but i wonder how i can really do that with the kids in school? to create a website to use while they're reading a book? is this something we can do each week? we'll see. i'm going to be experimental: create the wiki for the book and the tasks the kids're gonn' have to do, and then go for the gold and say: extra credit for the groups that stay after school and put the final products up on the web. so...we shall see!

a wonderful surprise in my mailbox at school

2009-01-09T12:24:00.001-05:00

Dear Mrs S., Mrs B., Mr. R., Mr. R., Mr. D.,

You guys are great teachers, the student coucil said to pick 1 (one) teacher but you teachers are so wonderful I just couldn't do it so here are individual reasons you are wonderful teachers at how you teach.

(i'm exempting the other teachers, but theirs is either similar and just as amazing as this)

Mr. R.: Always keep it straight. Uses the think & share solution. Never uses the easy road out. Always will be their [sic]. Not a pushover [my bold!!!!! yay!]. Will always help out!

Sincerely, TC [a student of mine]

this has to be the coolest thing i've ever seen in my life. it makes me feel amazing and wonderful and i'm so happy. i'm extremely happy, also, to hear that i'm not a pushover--because i've been wondering about that, and have been quite worried about it, too. whatever the think & share solution is, i guess i use it! that's pretty fun, no?

so, here i am, back in school, and i'm trying to plan out the introduction and subsequent reading of a novel, entitled The Skin I'm In. i've had idea after idea, and i think they might be a little overwhelming and too much in terms of planning things out. i originally planned to have weeks that're themed--that is, getting some supplementary material into the classroom so that it involves a bit of pre-reading. it'll help contextualize what i want them to draw out of this book: empowerment. i really hope i don't milk this thing so much that empowerment loses its life-force, its chi, if you will. but, i do want a few supplementary materials here and there. maybe i'll just do it here and there for the heck of it. or something. anyways, that's my weekend dillemma: how to introduce this novel. there's a children's book that's a tie-in. it's a "first look at racism" book, and my J. wrote a few MCAS-style multiple choice questions for a quick quiz. i might do that as well, copy it, and put in maybe an open-response or a few more multiple choice questions thrown in about empowerment (just so i can tie that in, keep it consistent with the rest of the novel). oh that is going to be an intense little weekend (read: sunday) planning session.

in the meantime, i'm pretty happy bout my technology class (except for missing Shabbos dinner for a complete month with the fam).

i'm considering having one of my students continually sent to a buddy room as soon as she gets her work so she just quits the disruption. we'll see. i need her in sometimes just so i can check her work, but it's tough. she's just so distracting, and the room does so much better when she's not in the room. it's ridiculous. anyways, here's to hoping. and here's to introducing novels!

ahem

2008-12-19T16:46:00.000-05:00

VACATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

see you all in two weeks!

the month of december is the craziest month

2008-12-11T20:31:00.000-05:00

so says my mentor teacher. J. must be right, because the kids, in recent days, at least some of them, have gotten really out of sorts. why is december the craziest month? well, the holidays (christmas, for them, i suppose) are coming up, and what does that mean? it's money crunch time. it's present shopping time. it's family they never want to see, and family they might be reminded of that they just can't see. i don't know. the kids. it's strange. what i got myself into is the drama that has unfolded (YOU'RE RUINING OUR FRIENDSHIP!) (BUT I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!) (YOU KNOW IT'S CAUSE YOU LIKE R.!) (BUT I DON'T...I MEAN I DID...BUT I DON'T NO MORE). sixth grade girls.

bullying is: stealing I.'s stuff and hiding it. ripping the shower curtain open while she's in it (gym). spreading rumors. nasty, nasty stuff going on. girls are mean. do guys do shit like this? i hope not! although boy bullies sure are nasty, themselves.

all that left me just completely and utterly drained. i was so involved in trying to get things settled and straight and just dumbfounded by all the shit that was flying out of the bullies' mouths and the poor look on I.'s face. it cut into my actual teaching time. actually, it cut into ALL of my teaching time. it was ridiculous--i left J. there with no idea of what i was actually doing, and i'm sure she reached into the far corners of her butt and pulled out what she could. it seemed to work: the kids presented what needed to be done, and everyone is more ahead in that class than my other class. that leads me into a nice segue into...

my two classes: 208 and 203. i imagined that both were going to be very, very hard to manage. 208 worse than 203, for some reason. it seems it's been the opposite. 203 is my ADHD class, and 208 my behavioral/strong personality class. well, it seems like 208's been really great to me. attentive, participatory; they want to express their ideas; they do their homework (!!); and my strong personalities have changed in the past few days, so i'm pretty happy about that. 203, like i said, has been my terrible, no good, very not nice class to me recently. they've been very loud, disrespectful, and distracted several days. well, yesterday, something might have clicked: E.'s mom was in the class right before E. came in from gym. he must've been extremely surprised! he had no clue about it. i had a talk with her afterward, and gave her notice of the homework for the night: to read a poem and write a paragraph, etc. seems to've worked: today he was attentive (although still a bit distracted by his ID chain), and involved in the conversation about the poem. he's wicked smart, this one, and all he needs to do is buckle down and focus. and focus he did this afternoon (at the end of the day, no less!). the story:

the class was their usual selves. and i was having trouble, and absolute trouble getting them to quiet down when someone or i was talking. so, i remembered something that worked amazingly in gym, and with J. at one point: one full minute of total silence. strangely enough, it worked amazingly. amazingly! people were talking, and i kept adding minutes, announcing it as the talk continued (GROAAAAN...COME ON!!!). when J. came back into the room, she said she could hear a pin drop. after three minutes, i passed out sheets for the different assignments we're doing based on the webquest on "surviving adolescence." i gave a small talk about how i had the power right now because i was speaking, and that when i have that power, all eyes should be on me, the room silent, because i am controlling the room now. i read the sheet of paper in utter silence (!!!) and calmly told the students, two by two, to get their laptops and to log onto the website. E. was doing marvelously, and T., who also is a source of trouble 'cause of his spaced-outtedness and general unapologetic attitude toward his actions (or complete unawaredness of said actions), was doing extremely well, too! the day ended excellently, and i was quite happy with the outcome. so, that class went very, very well. let's hope tomorrow's the same story!

growing pains

2008-12-04T22:16:00.001-05:00

it's been a bit of a while since i last posted. but there have been many things that've come up. the boy who i had "the talk" with has seemed to start confiding in me, and i think wants to hang out with me during lunch time. this is extremely flattering!!! i mean, come on! who doesn't want to hang out with this kid? he's mischievous and a little troubled by certain things at home--like i alluded to in my last post--but he's pretty nice when we get to regular facts. he's actually very nice. at what point, i'm wondering, is being a confidant too much? not now, at least, because it seems like he wants to talk to me, tell me things about his life, i'm guessing.

tomorrow i read a poem on the school's tv station (we have one! pretty neat, eh?). i'm announcing that in january, i'll be absolutely on about students reading poems on the station as well. if not, i'll keep reading them. but the idea is that students want to read, and they should, and should practice with me as well--after school or during lunch, etc. i hope this thing goes on. if not, then i'll just pick 'em and read each week. i mean, i don't mind it.

i broke down in one of my grad classes yesterday: i'm having a tough time with my mentor teacher. Ms. B is actually a wonderful teacher. but, she's organized in a way i am not experienced enough to be organized, if that makes sense. basically, she's too experienced, and hasn't trained me or given me any guidance or feedback on my teaching, when i do teach. so, i finally swallowed my embarrassment and overwhelmed self and went to talk to her. i told her some (emphasis on the italics...there are lots) of my concerns with her--especially on feedback, and she said she absolutely agreed. in fact, she had finally realized this as she read my journal (i know, i know, you keep too many journals, andrew, come on!)-cum-lesson -planner that mentioned me wanting to do my own thing (in terms of always coming into class not knowing what the lesson of the day is going to be...this happened a lot...i wanted to begin to make my own lessons), and then independently realized she wasn't giving any feedback. so, the conversation has begun and will continue, i think, all next week, when she gives me feedback on the different things that i need to know. for example:

handling discipline in the classroom
classroom management and redirection approaches
delivery of content
time management
clarity of thoughts/expressing thoughts or explanations
learning targets
do i teach to a certain side of the room?
individual attention--too much, too little?
accomodating kids with IEPs

those are just a few that i could think of, for now. i'm sure there's more. we'll see how things go. but for now, the process is going forward, which is good. now all i need to do is get all the many, many papers i need to write out of the way this weekend. yikes.

the talk

2008-11-26T01:00:00.000-05:00

"the world is terrible!" says one of my students. well, technically, he's not one of my students. but he knows me, just like all sixth graders in six land know me. "the world is terrible!" this is after all of the students go for lunch. something's been bothering him all day long. it's come to a head, and my teacher (i've come to say "my teacher" for my supervising teacher--it's much easier to say) isn't there. i guess it's now or never.

"what's wrong?" i ask.
"everything!" he answers.
what's everything? i think. "what's everything?"
"everything!" he says.

i realize this is going to become a guessing game, so i have to pull something out my butt. i asked about his grades, if he's disappointed in them. he says yes. but that's not it. is it family? parents yell at you about grades? no. is it about your brother? i hit it. yes.

the conversation goes on this way, and i glean some of the information from student. he's got an older brother, who he looks up to. he wrote about his brother in a creative piece a while ago. he's a light in an otherwise bleak dark spot, it seems. now they're not speaking. maybe i should've gone deeper, but i know they're both not calling each other. i haven't gotten into the root of the problem, but i start to give advice based on my own experience. how sometimes the other person doesn't realize they're causing you pain by not talking. sometimes both parties don't realize what's important; they forget. all it needs is a little push--an email, a call--from one person to remind the other of what's important.

i guessed that was the problem. i tell this to my sister, a social worker (she's just come home for thanksgiving) and she told me that was the wrong thing to do. or, at least, on a legal standpoint, it wasn't something i should've done. i can't tell them to do something because what if it causes problems; what if i had guessed wrong and there was a real good reason they weren't speaking to each other? the best thing i could ever say is to have him talk to his parents to see if it would be ok to call the brother. it's a family issue, keep it within the family, i suppose. it's not my call. the kid's only a sixth grader, afterall. the best thing i could every do is simply listen.

what a tough situation to be in. it's a good lesson, to learn, i suppose. to just keep my mouth shut and listen instead of give advice. sometimes no advice is best. maybe moreso on a legal standpoint. but then again, is it ok to give advice? or who am i to tell a kid what to do, or what they should do? i'm leaning towards following my sister on this one. she's always been the wiser one about these kinds of things, anyway. but i put it out to the public: to advise or not advise?

ADHD

2008-11-14T12:50:00.000-05:00

whether you believe in it or not is one thing; to actually experience it (ADHD or just hyper-activity) as a problem in your classroom is another story. i have--will have--three students in one class (two for sure, at least) who have ADHD/hyper activity. all three are extremely off-task, and have the discipline/redirection memory of a goldfish (pretty much a little more than 3 seconds (after some quick wikipedia research)). they act out to impress each other sometimes, or just act out.

my teacher has worked out a deal with one of the kids: he concentrates for 20 minutes, he can leave for 5 to get a drink of water, take a walk, whatever. he's upheld the deal for the most part. the other has a hard time since he's bullied. i think part of his acting out is that, and also his general notion that he has to be funny in class. that's what he had confessed to us, anyway, when we (i should say my teacher, because i am sometimes so in awe of her ability to care for the kids that i stand there dumb and shushed-up) (she says it's cause she's a mother) had a talk with him and his friend. the other kid is just out of this world. he put a lock in his mouth--a locker lock. i mean. i mean, really. sixth grade? kid's a space cadet. and yet, he wants a reward system to tell him that he's doing well so he'll focus! is that possible? will that happen? i wonder.

my question is: how do i deal with this triple threat? when it becomes unleashed, the wrath of hyper-hell comes upon us. when they're focused, they are on. it's a rare occasion, but it happens:

"MAKE DIRECTIONS AS EASY TO FOLLOW AS POSSIBLE. Always have the students attention before starting to introduce something new. Give students time to beging homework in class before they leave to help answer questions that could arise.

MONITOR PROGRESS. Look at the students assignment notebooks and/or folders on a regular basis to make sure they are doing what they are suppose to. Ask them to tell you about the goals they have for some of their assignments, feelings about your class, ect..

USE ALTERNATIVE ASSESSMENTS TO MEASURE LEARING. Don't rely only on the traditional standardized tests where you sit for a long time and fill in bubbles. To an ADHD student that could be tourture. Try such ideas as orally giving a test, projects like discussed earlier, ect.. "

think these things work? how do i assess writing if it won't work? although, writing doesn't seem to be too much of a problem with these kids. keeping them writing might be. does it work?

a follow-up for names

2008-11-12T20:06:00.000-05:00

calling Paola Paola now--i wonder what kind of effect that's had? i call her that, but there's no smile on her face or anything. do i take this to heart, or do i just chalk it up to that's just how it'll be?

i don't remember what it was like to be a sixth grader. when something pleased me, did i just as soon turn my back to it? or if not turn my back to it, just not show as much enthusiasm?

either way, i still like calling her Paola. it makes me smile.

turn arounds

2008-11-12T19:50:00.000-05:00

it's insane to see how little turn-around you get when you give a talk to some of your students. even regular redirection.

i have a class. the class that makes me worry because i don't exactly see the kind of dynamics that play out. there are a few kids who can be on-task, there are a few kids who are very on-task, and then there are the extremely hyper and plain disruptive kids. these four children are the ones that bring down the system. they destroy the dynamics of the class, and create a culture of disruption because they feed off of each other, which in turns allows the others to feed off of that energy. the class ends in a big quilombo (a big mess in argentine spanish), and i end up looking like my top is going to blow.

i've tried to get some of my students (two, in particular) to strike a deal with me: you fulfill such and such criteria, and i will allow you to sit in a certain place. you say that sitting next to certain people will allow you to concentrate better than sitting alone, then i'll let you do it. but you abuse that, and all privilege is taken away. i feel as though they understand this. they know what to do, but they still ignore it. they're so into impressing each other with fart noises (something i myself enjoy, which takes all the fun out of it), belching, and side conversations that they blatantly forget what it is their original task is supposed to be as well as the deal they struck with me.

discipline and redirection does not work. i find myself calling them out on the stuff they pull--today i called one kid out about calling another kid stupid, or some such insult. i asked, in a very, very harsh voice, "tell me why you think that was appropriate. why? why was saying ____ appropriate? tell me why you're disrupting my class with those outbursts." and just kept on insisting until the "ummm..." stopped and he said i don't know. and then i turned into a calm, low voice and continued. i say it as if it were that simple, but it's never that simple.

i sometimes survey my classes and think to myself: i just don't know what to do right now. and i honestly don't. they expect me to act a certain way because that's how i've been acting up until now. how do i break that mold? one of those disruptive kids, while i started to look like my top was going to blow, said to everyone, "oh he's going to yell! 5...4...3...2..." what do you do with this? what do you do with so many different challenges in one single room without your head spinning?

on the plus side, we're doing robert frost! the road not taken leads to strawberry jam and peanut butter sandwiches.

names are important

2008-10-31T10:44:00.002-04:00

a quick story about names:

there is a girl whose name is p. every pronounces it as if it were the illegal payoffs that radios used to do (and maybe still do? corporations? anyone?), payola. she's most certainly latina, and so i wonder why she doesn't correct teachers or anyone, really, when they pronounce it strangely (in my head, i always think it's a gringo pronunciation).

i saw her in advisory (i believe i've explained what advisory is before), and asked her to come over for a second.

"P.," i said to her, "how do you pronounce your name? Like P. or P. [latin sounding]?"

she looked at me, her eyes lighting up just a bit and a small smile on her face, and said, "Both."

"Which do you prefer?" i asked. she shrugged.

i said ok and went about my business checking this blog, checking my other one, editing some poetry, looking other poems and whatever until the end of the block. suddenly she comes up to me and says, "Which one do you like?" and i told her P. she ran back, almost skipping, and i think i saw a smile.

interesting how important a name is. i hate to say it, but my methods teacher was absolutely correct about names--we had to write a "where I'm from" poem and before that speak about our own names, where they come from, how we feel about them, etc. like it or dislike it, you have a name and it's important for teachers to know it, and know it right. judging by the way she smiled and ran off, i think i just took an important step toward something, who knows what, with this girl just by pronouncing her name correctly. it must've meant something.

the teacher's out of the room blues

2008-10-31T10:25:00.001-04:00

i've started to feel much more comfortable as a teacher in this room (i'm at school as i write this), and i announced which classes i'll be taking over to the kids. i did it through a powerpoint presentation, really, of what school i graduated from (GW, naturally), how i taught in santiago, chile (the kids were extremely impressed with the spanish, at least in one class--the other collapsed on me out of hyperidity and utter lack of self-control), and where i've traveled, and that now i'm at Duggan Middle!

today the teacher is out of the room, and i'm certainly not alone. i'm with a competent sub, and i really don't need to be here. she's wicked nice, and knows how to handle the kids to the T. anyways, the teacher is out and i don't have much to do but observe. which might actually be a good idea now that i think about it.

still this laziness in some of the students. still this apparent disregard for the apologies that they say not two minutes before they start acting up again. what seems like sincere apologies. it's pretty insane. you just don't know what the hell they're thinking, sometimes. really strange.

mtel english subject test

2008-10-24T16:46:00.001-04:00

i passed it, baby!!! one down, one to go!

ups and downs once more

2008-10-24T10:23:00.000-04:00

from one day to the other is like new england weather: it's never constant. how is it that group work can be so efficient one day, and the next is a train wreck? maybe there are other strategies? how do you figure this stuff out?

i took a leadership position away from a girl who was supposedly "facilitator" of a group--because, quite frankly, she wasn't going to do the work. she shut down completely. another kid wouldn't do his work because he was tired and hungry. how do you counter-act something like that?

maybe more insight will come as the day rolls by.

los caminos de la vida (life's paths) or, ups and downs

2008-10-23T21:59:00.001-04:00

yesterday was a terrible day. as my teacher was debriefing me of the different challenges that i am facing in choosing which classes i will inevitably take over, my vision started to get edgy. no hyperventilating, but i was not focusing. i was overwhelmed.

the problem was, i had a class collapse on me. a very difficult class, and one whose scores on their interim assessments (progress tests we give every five weeks that don't count towards their grades, but give us an indication on where they are according to our standards, etc) were terrible. most, if not all, were feeling quite dumb. the class collapsed: loud, disruptive, inattentive, and above all, just all over the place with not following directions and other things. one of the kids left the classroom so upset, she cried. that class in general just won't have it some days, and others are far more balanced and easy to get together. the class collapsed.

all this, piled on top of a day of "is this the class i really want to tackle?" angst and indecision. i felt myself becoming more and more uncomfortable with the lesson i was teaching--modeled by the teacher for a block, and then taken over by me. overwhelming. i didn't have a plan, and barely time to adjust. i swallowed hard, and then came the next class.

is this the life of a teacher? venting session upon session came to me at any opportunity i clamored for: during grad class, to a friend (who i must call) (a classmate), to another friend, and advice given by my big sister. i organized myself a bit, and made a small pro and con list of things (since when am i so organized? i'll never know) that i know to be true about one class. i lay in my bed under the sheets, warm, except for a slight draft (my nose'd be cold in the morning, for sure). i rationalized to myself a few things, sighed, felt a little more resolved and slept.

today, i decided to take on a new tactic. i'm still experimenting, after all. i didn't raise my voice in the least. i didn't panic. i stayed at a low, steady decibal, and didn't dare raise it another notch. i told my first class (by the way, i haven't mentioned this, but my mentor teacher was out at a workshop in the library all day, and a sub was there. officially, i was told not to do anything, maybe, at most, set the sub up. i didn't do that. i don't know if that's good or bad. in fact, i held back the last block just to let the poor guy do his job. this is something i have to hold back on, for sure, next time. it ain't my job to take over like i did. but it just happened) that i had decided that i wasn't going to raise my voice at all, and i kept saying things like, "i'm just going to keep talking until i have eyes on me, until q. [one of the students] stops hitting himself with his folder, until i have silence." and it worked!!!! how? i haven't a clue. but with every class it worked. maybe it won't another time, but damn. anyways, the idea behind today was group work. i've never seen them work so well with each other. their groups were settled and working, reading aloud to each other in group voices, and working on every question needed. my toughest kids were the hardest workers. i'd like to repeat that: my toughest kids were the hardest workers.

it hit me: what these kids need is structure. they need clear directions, and an environment where they can work together. otherwise, everything just begins to fall apart. the lesson must engage them both as individuals, but also as groups. i think, if i can balance them between individual work and group work, that this thing will be more of a cakewalk than diving into the batter before it's mixed, like i thought yesterday. whatever that metaphor means. maybe it's not as easy as it seemed. it most definitely isn't. but what worked well was group work and structure--they picked team leaders who kept everyone in check and focused, and everything worked fantastically. i'm going to experiment soon with this. let's see if this can be replicated!

i'm not black and i'll never be, epilogue

2008-10-16T19:43:00.000-04:00

looking over at what i had written yesterday, and having told the story again to my urban education teacher and feeling a few tears coming to my eyes, and real worry beat my forehead, i'd like to comment a bit further on this whole subject.

as i spoke to my urban education teacher about this today, i started to choke up a bit. i really won't relate to them like that, ever, i told her. no, she said, you will in some way. but you're noticing the differences; and i can see it on your face.

my face: furrowed, heavy, sudden, unhappy.

i don't feel great about this; it worries me a lot that, makes me wonder if i will relate to them at all about certain things. it felt like loss, i wrote last night. that's a very abstract thing, loss. but you know how it feels, don't you? how your chest feels punched, not by a fist, but by the bottom end of a metal bucket; and gutless, not in the sense that you're a chicken or scared, just gutless. you feel not so great. for moment, my head sunk down into this, and then i was out of it. i'm over-blowing it, perhaps, but it certainly felt like a sinking moment.

i'm trying to think how i can develop relationships with these kids. maybe i'm a little too eager. one step at a time, after all. next week i have to plan something about the children's rights packet they've been reading for the past two weeks or so. it's a craft project, but i want to make it interesting and personalized. why should they want to do this, is really the question that i want to ask myself when i plan this lesson? what the hell is so special about this, or maybe: how can i make this special enough that they'll be interested in it.

tomorrow i study for the MTEL, the teacher's exam. saturday, i take it. let's hope i can define what a participle is!

i'm not black and i never will be

2008-10-15T22:24:00.001-04:00

is what, after a little while, has sunk into my eyes and gut after a long day at school today. i taught. i taught four classes non-stop, with some help from the sub here and there, and with help from the paraprofessional (just so we know, a para is an aide to kids with disabilities--this one is very personable, seems to know a lot of the kids, and is pretty old school in terms of disciplining in a tough-but-fair way, i suppose...i'm not quite sure of all this stuff quite yet, but let's move on to the story) during one class.

the idea was simple: have the class read two pages and have them make 10 multiple choice questions if there's time. i kinda thought to myself...10 multiple choice questions is going to take a long, long time--let's bag it, and do a discussion. much easier. and more of my strong point, i think, although it's certainly something i need to hone in on.

the real boom moment--when my own sense of self was completely tipped--something clicked--i'm not quite sure how describe it--a sinking feeling, a deep sinking, a terrible sense, almost like loss. the para, the aide, took over my class once he entered the room. it was fine. i didn't mind; he's a nice guy, and absolutely good enough to take over a discussion such as this, talking about children's rights, and what that all means to them, women and men's differences (wonderful discussion bout that), and hiring situations. i pulled it all together to get back into the whole "rights" thing, and then, as we were talking about adults and interskate 91 (a roller rink) and gunshots on boston road, boom it hit me how absolutely alienated i was and am from their experiences. they could want to go to rollerskate, and suddenly hear gunshots. i do not live in springfield, i thought. i'm totally sheltered. that was one.

soon, the conversation turned back to rights, and the para---like i said, a black guy, really nice, funny, serious, too---turned his language completely around, and stopped talking to them like an adult in school and started speaking like a black man, a peer, like how now it were suddenly real, like he had said when he started to speak as if he were speakin to you on the street. and then boom again: i'm not black. i'll never be black. and i won't ever be able to relate to the kids just like this para did.

i said it felt like loss. only now it does. really, i just felt alienated for a second, and strange. i'll never relate to them on that level. that's what race is about, i guess. maybe i'm starting to get it.